I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

“Hyungnim.”

The door opened with a knock and a familiar face lingered in. His name was Dong-ju (동주), who looked me in the eye not that didn’t match his name. (큰 덩치와맞지 않게 내 눈치를 살피는 그의 이름은 동주였다)

“Say it.”

“I think you should come down and see.”

As soon as I heard it, I got a feeling of what was going on.

It had just been a week since the man introduced a newcomer and put in new people. Right. It was time for an accident.

As soon as I got up from my seat without saying a word, Dong-ju took the lead with a relieved expression. Although he had a rough appearance and a bumpy body, he didn’t like quarrels and was a healthy guy who got along well with his pregnant wife.

“Fuck you bastard, damn it! Aren’t you coming here?”

Chaeeng!

As soon as I went downstairs, I heard a man’s shout and a sharp bursting sound of the bottle breaking through the hallway. I guessed they were already having a fight.

I increased my leisurely pace and headed to the room where the problem occurred. In the meantime, the sound of something breaking and shattering was constantly resounding.

“Do you know who I am!?”

Oh. It seemed I had arrived at an important time, seeing that even the lines I heard about once a month. I quickly opened the door to the half-closed room and immediately stretched out my arm.

Smack!

I grabbed the wrist that was swinging towards the cheek of the new employee. The new employee, who had been standing still with his back, widened his eyes at the sudden appearance of me. He didn’t seem too scared, but he must have been trying to pay him back with 10 if he was hit by one.

Then yes. Anyway, the guys he sent…

“Wh, what? What are you doing, you bastard?”

The customer who grabbed me by the wrist made a red face and yelled at me. Either way, I calmly looked at the situation inside the room first.

Expensive Western liquors were scattered on the floor and several women who seemed to be in the party were curled up and turned white. Slowly raising my gaze from the floor to the inside of the room, I finally found the person sitting at the far end.

No matter how many times he bleached his hair, the brittle blonde hair and piercings in his ears caught my eye. While looking at this place with a cigarette in his mouth with interest, he slowly blinked his eyelids and exhaled cigarette smoke when our eyes met.

“Aren’t you going to let this go? What are you doing, you bastard!”

Ah. I forgot. I turned my attention back to the rude man, who was struggling to get the wrist that was caught by me.

“Calm down, Sir.”

I grabbed the wrist I was holding strongly on purpose once and then released it, the opponent contorted his face and let out a moan of pain.

“If you have any problems, please tell me.”

“You, you, damn it, are you the owner of this place?”

“Yes.”

After giving a brief answer, I beckoned to the kids standing behind me, so I quickly took the newcomer out of the room. At the same time, the customer began to pour out all kinds of complaints.

How are you going to take care of the little ones, what kind of business are you going to do while providing services on a regular basis, don’t you know who I am, how to compensate for this, etc.

I listened intently to the rude man gibberish, reeking of the smell of alcohol. I didn’t know how these guys always had the same repertoire.

“Customer.”

When I smiled brightly while listening without saying anything, the rude man made a bewildered face.

“I apologize, but we won’t give you any compensation. The service is also… If you had been patient like this, I think you did pretty well.”

“What?”

“It will damage business, so please leave now.”

After saying those words, silence fell in the room. The rude man, who stared at me with his eyes wide open for a moment, trembled in anger as his fists had gained strength.

“Damn, what are you talking about!? Look at me now…!”

I was thinking about whether I should forcefully kick him out because he was about to make a fuss again, but a bright voice that didn’t fit the mood suddenly broke in.

“Yeah, you better go out.”

It was the blonde man I had met earlier. With a cigarette between his long fingers, he raised the tip of his lips slightly.

“As the owner said, it’s kind of a nuisance. It was noisy and all the delicious alcohol was broken.”

“Oh, oh? What…”

“What if I report you for business obstruction? I don’t want to go to the police station. You don’t like it, do you?”

“Uh, ung.”

“That’s right…”

Shrugging their shoulders, the women who had been watching at his witty words were startled and awkwardly sympathized. The rude man, who was suddenly cornered, broke out in a cold sweat and forced a smile.

“Hey, hey… what’s the matter? Fuck you, Yeon Seon-woo. You…”

“Um? What?”

“How could you…”

The confident attitude he showed when he cursed at a new employee or me was nowhere to be found. To the rude man who hesitated and stepped backwards, a blond man called Yeon Seon-woo answered with a slightly squashed voice with a cigarette his mouth bitting.

“So, what did I do? You were the one who set the good mood, Min-geon-ah (민건).”

“……”

“Aren’t you going?”

There was a tone that was really curious as to why he didn’t go out, but no one was able to hear it straight away.

“…fuck!”

The rude man, who had been biting his lips for a long time with redness up to his neck, pushed me harshly and left the room. I heard the sound of thumping footsteps and rubbed the nape of my neck.

‘I didn’t expect this to happen.’

Swallowing a sigh, I slowly turned my head to see the women looking up at me and a blonde man smoking a leisurely cigarette.

“Hm…”

I smiled awkwardly and looked down at the floor. It was a mess with broken alcohol, so it seemed like I had to move them to another room.

“Thank you. I’ll prepare a new room for you. Would you like to move? I’ll bring you back the broken alcohol.”

As I spoke politely, the blonde rubbed the cigarette into the ashtray and opened his mouth lightly.

“I’d appreciate it if you do that.”

“Yes. I will send the staff right away.”

I thought it ended well somehow. It was then that I turned my back to just leave the room in relief.

“By the way.”

“……?”

“Are you really the owner of this place? You look very young.”

I quietly clicked my tongue so as not to hear the questions filled with curiosity. I was bored to death.

“I’m the manager.”

The opponent was a customer, a customer. As I chanted like a Buddhist prayer and answered with kindness, I clenched my chin and his eyes twinkled.

“You don’t need to bring alcohol again but can you do me a favour?”

“…what is it?”

“Smile one more time. As wide as before.”

At the request that exceeded my imagination, my forehead was twisted. Even the women who sat quietly and watched the man and me were astonished as they covered their mouths with their hands.

“Can’t you?”

“……”

The innocent voice gave me a headache.

An ominous feeling that I must have been caught wrong came creeping in.

* * *

It was around the time that I had gotten used to Yeon Seon-woo’s act of going in and out of the bar. The buying coffee errand, which initially started with the intention of getting rid of him, gradually lost its meaning.

He was so persistent and stubborn that even I was surprised. Just looking at him, it seems that he came from a great family, but he didn’t feel bad no matter what I said.

It was very strange and I also wondered why he was so interested in me.

“Here you go.”

Even in the middle of the day on a hot summer day, Yeon Seon-woo bought coffee without any complaints. He tilted his head slightly as I took the coffee he offered.

“Why?”

“No. Nothing.”

But the last thing I didn’t ask was… whatever the reason, it was clear that he was like a bright coloured paper that flew out of my bleak and achromatic day.

“You can go now.”

“Ah, why again?”

So I was even more sorry. I didn’t want to see a young guy in his prime walking in and out of a bar. I was hoping Yeon Seon-woo to meet more good people who would suit him, not a guy like me.

“Aren’t you studying?”

“Ohyu, that sound again.”

“Then you become a person like me.”

“What’s wrong with Hyungnim?”

Yeon Seon-woo sighed as if tired of the nagging that had been repeated over and over again, then recalled something and laughed playfully.

“It’s great if I become a sexy guy like Hyungnim who does a good job.”

“Oh, my.”

I put down my coffee and shook my head at the sound that wasn’t even funny.

“If you participate in a nonsense contest, you will win.”

“There’s nothing I can’t do.”

“Okay, get out.”

When I picked up and forcibly threw a small doll on the desk, Yeon Seon-woo bowed his back and quickly avoided it.

“That’s too much!”

“What do you mean too much when you didn’t even get hit?”

“You just threw my present.”

“I said I hate it.”

Yeon Seon-woo, who picked up the doll that had fallen on the floor, grumbled and put it back on the desk. It was a black fox doll about the size of the palm of my hand and he used to tell me where he had bought it and said it looked like me.

“He looks exactly like Hyungnim, but it would be sad if you treat him so harshly.”

Yeah. This kind of bullshit. I was exhausted and drank coffee. The sweet scent and taste spread throughout the mouth.

“Is it the same as the one you bought last time? What is the name of this?”

“Vanilla latte. I bought it again because it was delicious. Do you like it?”

“Ho.”

What other kids bought me was different, bitter and astringent, but this was delicious.

“The next time you come, buy yours too.”

“Is that okay?”

“What can’t be done?”

“Then let’s go have a drink here.”

“Do you think I’m having fun?”

“No?”

“…do whatever you want.”

The office was cold. It was an errand in midsummer, but that was all I could do.

Yeon Seon-woo slightly closed his eyes and smiled happily at my permission. He looked so bright and warm, like the sun shining through the window.

* * *

A white ceiling came into view. I covered my eyes with my hands and forced my body to stand up.

As my hazy mind gradually cleared, a sense of reality came to me. The hand on the white blanket trembled.

As I bowed my head, the things hanging around my eyes fell as if they had waited. Drop by drop of tears wet the blanket covering my legs.

“…uh, ugh…”

I bit my lips hard and forcibly swallowed the cry. As time went by, my eyes grew hotter.

Piii.

The fox’s cry was faintly heard, but I couldn’t raise my face. Holding back the sobbing, I grabbed the blanket that reached my hand and gripped it tightly.

Yeon Seon-woo. Seon-woo-ya.

I kept repeating his name in mind, which I couldn’t spit out, and recalled my dream over and over again.

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