Chapter 425 97.3 - Breaking Down
There are times when we are forced to do things that we do not want.
No matter how things happen, not everything can be accounted for. But even then, those who tend to overthink a lot think of many scenarios in their heads.
They think of all their memories of the time. And it is not a good thing to do. Not something that is good for your mental health.
Especially if it is paired with an insanely good memory.
The moment that you have one of the best memories in the world. You can't ever forget, no matter how hard you are trying to do.
No matter how many times pass, those memories will never be forgotten. You will find yourself looking at every bit of those details in your head. You will check the details ever and ever again. You will try to understand everything in your head, trying to make sense of everything.
You will eventually become more of a logical person.
Or maybe it is just me?
The answer is not clear, but one thing is certain. I knew something like this could happen.
From all the way Irina had acted, the way she looked at me, the way she constantly got migraines when she was with me since Phantom's Land.
Belthazor's attribute was psychic, and my memories somehow were hazy, as if an external influence had interfered with them.
Everything pointed out something that happened in Phantom's Land, and something somehow revealed my past to Irina.
What happened on that cursed day? What happened on that damned day. The reason why I am here is my initial and maybe the biggest weakness.
If someone were to learn about my past, there was only one thing that I could do. I had conditioned myself for the sake of such a thing happening.
To erase any variables that can occur.
I would destroy the evidence or the witness.
That was how it was supposed to be. That was exactly what I did at that time of fire.
To start a clear life, I sacrificed many people other than myself. However, undoubtedly, given the opportunity, they would do the same.
However, up to this point, I waited.
I waited because I didn't want to just remove an important character from the world. Because Irina is a crucial being in this world that Is very important for the future.
A strength that no one can reach easily. She possesses insane amounts of talent destructively, so much so that even I won't be able to rival her at some point.
The future fire Archmage. I didn't want to remove her just because of mere speculations of mine. The damage that would be caused by this would weigh the gains more.
That was up to this point, at least.
"Estelle."
Since that name left her mouth. Since that would mean she had figured out many things that she was never supposed to.
That was why I can no longer hold myself back. She needs to be removed.
But still. I wanted to ask something.
I wanted to make sure that that name didn't come from her mouth for no reason.
"You…"
That was why I asked.
"How do you know that name?"
Because I wanted to learn if she had heard it from someone.
I wanted to learn if that certain someone who somehow messed with my plans ended up talking to Irina.
"….."
Of course, it seemed like she was having a hard time peaking. That was what I intended to do. After all, no matter what, shaking up your opponent's mental health is always good for revealing more about what they know.
But Irina wasn't backing down. She fought against my killing intent, her fiery spirit defying my overwhelming presence. I had to give her credit for that. Not many could withstand such pressure, let alone push back against it.
It was because I was already influencing my killing intent with a psych-attributed mana. It was a trump card that I had been developing for a while, and it seemed certain that it was a useful ability.
Her body should have been affected, and even breathing must have started becoming hard.
But it seemed this girl still had the willpower to go against it.
"No. I know everything," she said, her voice growing stronger as she forced herself to stand tall. "Estelle was your sister. She was a good-natured, kind individual. A strong young girl who bore the responsibility of the village."
Her words struck a chord within me. Memories of Estelle flooded my mind, and for a moment, my resolve wavered.
But I couldn't let that show. Not now.
"She was a strength to her younger brother, who was rather weak," Irina continued. "You grew up together, your bond unbreakable. You spent your nights together, sharing your dreams and fears, supporting each other through everything."
The intensity of my killing intent began to waver, the pressure easing slightly as Irina's words struck a chord within me.
Why?
I wondered. Out of all that time now, why were her words affecting me? What was the reason for that? I had already resolved myself for what was about to come and readied my dagger for everything.
But why was nothing happening now?
Why were my fingers clenched?
"But then, the demons came." The words continued, recounting the story that I didn't want to remember. "They took her from you. They took everything. And you were forced to watch it all happen, powerless to stop it."
'Should I just kill you? How dare you speak like you know everything.'
The emotions were somehow getting out of control once again. I made this evident with my intent as she stopped talking for a second.
"URghk-!....." But she didn't waver at all.
"She lost her life at the hands of those monsters. And you were left to bear the weight of that loss. The guilt, the anger, the pain—it has haunted you ever since."
'…..' For a moment, there was silence between us.
Irina took a step closer, her eyes never leaving mine. In those eyes, I saw resolution, but at the same time, she was relaxed.
It was as if she had trusted me enough that she was sure I wouldn't kill her.
'You really think I don't?'
And that was when I decided to do it even though something inside me was telling me otherwise.
Even though my hand that went to reach the dagger somehow hesitated, I was resolved.
"Yeah, you are right," I replied. But instead of feeling like reminiscing about the past or being in pain, my eyes were cold.
"All these were right," I said, my eyes turning cold once again. "You already know everything."
SCHLINK!
Under the glowing moonlight, I drew my blades. This same moonlight that became my companion on my journey somehow didn't light my blades this time.
As if it was protesting the thing that I was doing.
"That is why you already know what I am going to do," I mumbled.
And then, I went as I had practiced countless times – raising the dagger, clenching my legs, and suddenly dashing explosively.
My right hand is on behind to keep my balance while my left hand rotates with my whole body. A classic practiced movement that capitalizes on the enemy's surprise.
I could see her eyes widening as the realization struck her. I wasn't just angry—I was ready to kill her.
She was caught off guard, unable to react in time. The swiftness of my attack left her no room to defend herself.
As the blade hovered millimeters from her neck, she sat there, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and determination. "Do you really think this is what Estelle would want you to do?"
TANG! And that certain name and those words somehow struck something inside me. At that moment, it felt as if the world had stopped.
Sometimes, at the corner of my eyes, I felt like I had seen the light rising from my chest. It could have been my mistake, but just for a split second, it looked as if a crescent moon of color green shone right on my neck.
"Brother. Is this really what you want?"
And I heard a voice in my head.
A voice that is so familiar yet so distant. In a place that I can never reach, yet I can't help but long for.
"After all this time that you had spent together. Can you really kill this girl?" She talked as if she knew everything. To be frank, remembering the past, she was always like that. She always guided me when I acted immature. When I lost myself, she gave me a reason to live and showed me the path.
'I need to. You know I can't reveal anything to the world. Nobody should know I am here.' "Is this the reason you gave yourself? Just so that things become easier?" I wanted to refute this.
But I couldn't.
"Is this how she would want her brother to act if she were here? To remove anyone that comes close to him?"
"Of course not. I never wanted you to do anything like this, brother." It was as if she was answering Irina on my behalf. As if she was here to talk to me. As if she was here right on my side. ƒrēewebnoѵёl.cσm
Somehow, under the dimly lit moonlight, I could see a faint silhouette on my side. Maybe I was going crazy.
Or maybe I was already crazy from the start?
"Is this your way of coping with your loss? Constantly training to no end, tiring yourself out? Constantly trying to detach yourself from the world, never having anything for yourself to do?"
My grip on the blade tightened further, my eyes reflecting the turmoil within me.
"Is this how you respect the life that was saved by the person you loved the most?" Irina continued, her tone filled with both challenge and compassion. "Is this the value you put into her efforts to make this life possible?"
I hated to hear anything from her right now. I hated how she looked like she knew everything about me.
I hated how I couldn't refute it, how I couldn't speak my way out like I always did.
I hated how I could just see her silhouette standing right behind Irina with a smile.
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