How To Survive as a Villain

Xiao YuAn stood up sharply, only to sit back again in a daze right after.

‘Does the sun rise in the West? No. Does the sea water pour backwards? No. Does it snow in Summer? No. Would the Male Lead not seduce a woman? No. But Yan HeQing just said that he doesn’t have any women! He doesn’t have any women?!’

‘What the hell happened?! Has this book gone from being a stallion novel to an actual historical novel?!’

‘Is this even fair to the thousands of readers of this novel who were attracted by its fame?!’

‘Fair!!! Of course it’s fair!!!’

Xiao YuAn couldn’t help but roar inside his mind: ‘Fuck the stallion genre! Long live historical settings! The whole world rejoices! Let’s spread the good news!’

‘But, in that case, wouldn’t Yan HeQing be alone? It’s kind of tragic.’

Outside the wing room, there was a loud sound of the Suona, it was a loud sound breaking through the sky. Then, the sound of the drums and gongs followed. This was the music announcing that the bridegroom had arrived to pick up the bride.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Let’s go to the wedding banquet!” Xiao YuAn was full of smiles as he grabbed Yan HeQing’s wrist, pulling him up.

Taoyuan Village was a harmonious neighborhood, and when a wedding banquet was held, almost everyone in the village would come to celebrate; so there were 18 tables at the banquet. There was a group of people drinking and playing guessing games¹, and Zhang Baizhu was determined to get Xiao YuAn drunk, but the two of them held the wine jar against each other, neither of them wanting to give up. As a result, they both laid on the table completely wasted.

In short, the only thing that Xiao YuAn remembers is that he was playing with Zhang Baizhu one second, and the next, he was lying on Yan HeQing’s back once he opened his eyes again.

“Yan-ge, you… are you carrying me back home on your back?” Xiao YuAn vaguely said while wrapping his arms around Yan HeQing’s neck.

“Hmm.” Yan HeQing replied.

“How is your injury? It doesn’t hurt to carry me like this? Why don’t you just put me down? I can walk by myself.” Xiao YuAn muttered as he struggled to get down.

Yan HeQing stopped walking and said: “Don’t move, I’m fine.”

“Oh, alright, alright.” Xiao YuAn quieted down.

Yan HeQing walked slowly back to the residence.

Xiao YuAn was really drunk and restless, and began to ask questions nonstop: “Yan-ge, how many times have you carried me on your back?”

“Yan-ge, did you know that Xiao PingYang and Yongning got married?”

“Yan-ge, what does it feel like to love someone?”

Yan HeQing stopped walking when he heard the last words of Xiao YuAn, who said with a soft voice: “I heard others say that when you love someone, you see them as the person of your dreams, but they’re not as magnificent as a lonesome plum in the middle of a heavy snowstorm; not as mellow as the fragrance of the wine blowing in the Southern breeze, but you’re only thinking of them all day. Do you agree?”

Yan HeQing replied: “Yes.”

“Yan-ge, didn’t you say before that you haven’t experienced a love affair before? How would you know that?” Xiao YuAn snorted.

Yan HeQing replied: “I know.”

Xiao YuAn, after asking questions for a while, fell asleep on Yan HeQing’s back.

…

In the dark of the night, the wedding banquet broke up in a bustling manner, and everyone felt a little tired. The Owner of the East street inn wanted to close the business for the day, but as soon as he returned, he saw five or six men dressed in black clothes standing at the door of the inn.

Naturally, guests have to be received, so the boss with a strong spirit went to open the inn’s door. The man at the head of the group whispered: “Boss, we’ll like to take a few rooms.”

“Yes, welcome! My guests, wait a moment!” The owner gave a welcoming smile and took the keys to the upper rooms and handed them to the man dressed in black.

The man dressed in black took the keys and thanked him, then they walked upstairs.

The inn owner yawned and was about to take a rest, but when he turned around, he saw that one of the men dressed in black appeared behind him out of nowhere, scaring him into taking a few steps back.

“Boss,” The man took out a portrait and spread it out in front of the inn owner: “Have you seen this man before?”

The inn owner squinted at the portrait and couldn’t help but pronounce the words underneath the image: “Yan, He, Qing?”

…

-The Author has something to say.-

Yan-ge is about to deliver a great headache to Xiao. Hehehehe² no worries, after that I’ll give you a pastry.

I’m scared of the author ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

Now XYA knows that YHQ doesn’t want a harem! Yay! But… who are those guys looking for our ML ???? ‘`( ꒪Д꒪),､

Footnotes

1. 划拳 huá quán; It’s a drinking game that originated in the Han Dynasty. For the Han people, this game adds to the joy of drinking and accompanies the festivities. When drinking, two people stretch out their fingers at the same time and each says a number, whoever says the number that matches the total number of fingers stretched out by both sides wins, and the loser drinks.
2. 嘿嘿嘿 hēi hēi hēi; Onomatopoeia for a mischievous laughter.

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