Fighting to be Kind in a Cultivation World

Gong scurries over to meet us, as we run toward her in the demihumans' territory.

She scoops all three of us up in a hug, as she’s in her gigantic form. Wearing a massive shit-eating grin, as she does this.

“I see you guys had a fun time. I heard those cats were seriously expensive ones.”

 She aims her eyes on the cats. Which, for the most part, are just meant to be pets. With my taming contract and healing, I’m expecting far more from them. But they don’t need to know that.

Gong looks at them with a glance at me, already knowing from her experiences with the normal, tiny spiders that have turned into behemoths or spirit beasts what will happen. However, she stays quiet, as well.

I speak up regarding her statement to ease any potential lingering thoughts.

“Not really.”

I give a cheesy smile for my next words.

“Especially for some of the cutest people in the world.”

Gong appears excited, in her own way, while putting all three of us down. Right after, she shrinks down to our size before moving close to me, holding my arm. Nuzzling her face against my cheek, teasingly.

“Sweetie? What’s our date going to be like? And what will you get me for my spirit beast?”

She’s saying this in a joking manner, but in many ways, she really…really wants to know. Fortunately for me, I know the answer to both, for Gong.

“Well Gong, I’ll let you choose. Where do you want our date to be? And don’t be afraid to say the truth… I’m ready for it.”

She freezes in place.

“…you’ll go where ever I want? Whatever I want to do?”

I raise my eyebrow in amusement.

“Gong, you know full well, this isn’t an ‘I’ll do anything’ clause, you little minx. But I will go to the place you want me to see and accept you for.”

Now she’s the one to swallow in anticipation.

“Okay… let’s go then.”

She turns to Ai and Lin, who look thoroughly confused by the situation and the slightly different air she’s giving.

“You guys don’t need to worry; I just want him to know more about ‘that’ part of me.”

Ai and Lin’s eyes open wide in what appears to be understanding.

“Ohhhhh, I see.”

Ai and Lin both give my arms a meaningful squeeze while looking me in the eye. One that clearly means I better accept what I see or there’ll be trouble with them.

You guys don’t need to worry… with my scan, I’ve known for a long while.

Almost solemnly, Gong takes my hand, leading me into one of her tunnels. As she leads me along, we don’t run, but just walk, side by side. And considering her normal personality, this is the most nervous I’ve seen her.

Knowing she’s on edge with what she’s about to show me, I ease her worries.

“Hey Gong? I’ve had my scan on since I’ve met you, you know. It’s alright. We’ll head there, but I just want to tell you there, at that place, the same things I always will.”

She tenses up when I talk about her secret, but seems to relax a lot more with these words of mine. Gripping my hand tighter, she pulls me a little faster.

Because of the pace we are going, it takes 20 minutes for us to get there, deep in her territory. Revealing significant changes to the tunnels.

Where before, you could at least somewhat see the rock beneath the interlacing webs on the ground… now not even the walls or ceiling are visible. Covered with such a thick layer that even with the scan, I can see this is actually a vast tunnel. Just made extremely small by the sheer number of webs on the walls.

It’s almost daunting to think about.

Why would she need that many webs? Well, the simple answer is… to prevent the escape of any prey.

As we get closer, I can see the edges of her latest victims… and her largest insecurity.

Huge webbed creatures strung from the ceiling. Desiccated. Partially eaten.

And Gong moves right next to one of them, moving on the ceiling and crawling down onto them.

“…James… are you ready to see the real me?”

I give her a small smile.

“Yeah.”

She gives a shy nod before she moves the lower part of her body, her spider part over to the creature and injects something into it, before it starts eating the body. Like a milkshake, with some more solid parts of icecream in it.

But it’s a dead giant insect body.

As she does this, Gong looks so satisfied, but sees me looking at her and immediately stops in shame. I call out to her.

“Gong! Don’t stop. Keep going, if you like.”

She hesitates.

“…don’t you feel disgusted by it? You know I don’t need to do this anymore… not with the healing you have on us all the time.”

She looks down, guilty.

“I… just can’t stop myself, though. I feel the urge to capture creatures and eat them like this. Even though I’m not hungry.”

I give a sigh.

Sometimes, actions are better than words.

I use my strength to leap up to where she is. Hanging off the webbed creature she’s eating. She freezes in place, shocked and wondering what I’m going to do.

Looking her in the eyes, I grab a handful of the goopified insect innards.

…the things I do for love.

I eat the innards.

Hmm… it tastes like spicy meat soup. Probably because it’s a form of acid that humans really shouldn’t be eating.

Yep, I hate it.

But I keep chewing it and swallow it. Subtly healing myself, as I do so.

As I reach down to get another bite, Gong snaps out of her daze to grab my hand. Giving me a smile.

“…you’re an idiot, you know that?”

I give her an enormous, silly grin.

“Yep. You love me for it, though, right?”

She shakes her head, laughing as she does.

“Sometimes I wonder… but yes. So very much.”

I give her a big hug.

“Gong… it’s just your instincts. I know. Every creature has those built in and even if the reason for it disappears… they just have to do it. Even regular humans have stuff we do we don’t need to do to survive, but do anyway.”

I give her a playful nudge.

“Just like how I didn’t need 5 pieces of cake today… but I totally would do it again.

“Your guilty pleasure just happens to be big bugs.”

 I can see my words and action finally breaking through to her. She gives a relaxed sigh and wraps her arms around me. Enveloping me in a hug.

“…I don’t deserve you, James.”

I perk an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that’s definitely my line, Gong. You do so much for me and fill my life with such hope and joy, it’s not even funny. Not only that… but you, Ai, and Lin being there helped me from going mad at how crazy this… part of the world is.”

As a regular person from my world, even with them around and keeping my head straight… I still wonder if I’m doing the right thing. But knowing that they need my help has helped prevent me from diving my head in some hole to cultivate for 10 years and become the strongest.

Because, while I could have done that… what would have happened to all the people I now know, if I did? The people that would have died or been tortured?

Like Mei Lin… or any of the others I care about.

…

…

Yeah, I don’t regret a thing.

…

Well, maybe some things. But generally, I think I’ve done a decent job of figuring things out on the fly, while protecting those around me.

But, God… it’s been risky as hell doing so. I could have died when I first got here, if not for the old cultivator.

…who I still haven’t thanked. I really should do that eventually.

In the current time, I reach my arms around Gong’s, pulling her closer to me.

“Thanks for being in my life, Gong.”

She does the same to me, squeezing me against her chest.

“Mm…. no, thank you, James.”

We stay silent for a little. A comfortable, loving silence.

I break it for an almost joke.

“…You’re still considering tying me up and keeping me here, aren’t you?”

…

…

Her silence is suspicious.

…

“…no.”

That was far too long a time to consider that question.

I love you Gong, but you scare me sometimes.

I make the wise decision not to vocalize this. Letting me escape to live another day.

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