Chapter 313: Steel & Strength
LERRIN
He barely tasted the food. And after a minute of chewing in silence, he told Suhle to pull up the little stool to the other side of the table. "Don't make me eat alone. Next time bring your own and we will eat together. There's no need for you to stand attendance when I'm eating. It would be good to share the meal."
She nodded once, but her cheeks warmed and her scent spiked. Interesting.
"Do you wish to tell me what happened earlier today? Why there is such tension around you?"
Lerrin growled through his mouthful. "There is a difference in the way I wish to approach winning the Tree City, and how some of the other leaders and soldiers want to do it. They're just impatient."
She nodded. "And they accuse you of fear?" she asked carefully.
His eyes snapped up to measure her for accusation, but there was none of it in her scent. She regarded him evenly, her hands neatly folded in her lap.
"I think they use the accusation to rattle me," he said after he swallowed. "But I'm sure they also wonder."
"What is the true reason for your delay?"
He grunted. "
"Battle is… unavoidable, I know. It is a necessary part of war. But assassination seems… much more personal. And puts our people in such close quarters with the enemy—in small numbers. I do not doubt the strategy is a good one. Only you asked why I seemed uncomfortable. I appreciate the need for war. But I do not have to like it," she said, her voice growing harder at the end. "With that said, anything that results in less bloodshed is a good plan, I think. I am a hunter—killing for purpose—not a warrior, to kill for victory. I wish… I wish there were a way to resolve this conflict without battle—or assassination—at all. I wish we could meet at the negotiation table. That is all."
Lerrin blinked, the memory of Reth in the creek, staring at him intently, poised for flight, but his resolve rock-solid…
"…Even your father knew that listening to your enemies was never a futile effort, Lerrin," Reth growled. "Now, listen: Your wolves are on edge, erratic and violent. As angry as they are, their aggression will be coming out whether it's directed at me or not. And with Lucine's example taking Elia… Don't forget that if they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you."
Lerrin had wanted to spit on him. "I can't decide if you're foolish enough to believe you actually understand my people better than I do, or stupid enough to think you could intimidate me with them." He leaned forward, eyes locked with Reth in the primal challenge of predator to predator, yearning to bite out the cat's throat. "The difference is, they love me. They serve me by choice."
Reth sagged, shaking his head. "You have held the Alpha power for what, hours? Trust me, Lerrin, you will learn the value of a measured consideration. You showed that you have it when we discussed the attacks on Elia. I know… I know this has been a difficult time, but please hear me: Should you ever discover you have reason to question this conflict, or your people are… reaching for things you do not wish to take, get word to me. I will listen. We could end this together. Without bloodshed…"
"Lerrin, are you well?" Suhle's voice was quiet, but insistent.
He blinked and realized she was leaning across the table, her hand hovering over his arm. He must not have responded when she spoke. She met his eyes, her own bright and curious, edged in concern, but she pulled her hand back to her lap without touching him.
"Sorry, I was… thinking," he said, shifting in his seat. He went back to eating for a moment. Suhle waited patiently, but she smelled like she was on the edge of action. She had questions.
"Why are you kind to me—to all of us—even when we are… aggressive?" he asked without looking at her. "Doesn't that make people feel like it is okay to treat you poorly?"
She shrugged. "I'm sure it appears that way to some," she said quietly. "But I am not kind where something else is needed. Only when I know that others are hard or angry because of their circumstances. Sometimes they only need to get those feelings out and then they can be more balanced. Being a target for that is a service I can provide, when it's appropriate. And in my experience, when good people understand that you will be kind even when they are not, they… adjust themselves. It is a good measure of person's heart, how they treat the kind."
Lerrin chewed on that along with the food. "When I am hard on you, please do not act as if it's nothing. Show me. Give me an opportunity to… adjust."
She waved a hand. "You are never unkind, only angry at times. But I know that is because you are carrying heavy loads, and your heart and mind—your good heart and mind—are at odds with those around you who seek blood, or revenge, or simply their own indulgence. I am happy to help you vent those frustrations so that others cannot use it as an excuse to undermine you."
He stopped eating, gaping. "Why would you do that? Why would you let me be hard on you because of others?"
"Because I know your goal is the best for all wolves. I want to help you succeed in your purpose to bring the wolves to their best place. I pray to the Creator that you'll see clearly what that is and have the strength to pursue it, whether others agree or not. If you are weighed down with those voices, what chance do you have to think clearly in contradiction with them? It is a small price to pay, Lerrin."
It took him a short time to realize what he was feeling was… humble.
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