Chapter 738 - Purpose
After everything was said and done, Vahn had left the underground room to go visit Alexa. It was already much later than he would have liked to have visit so he needed to work hard to make it up to her. As for Freya, she remained behind with Loki, the latter of which had wanted to discuss things after sending Vahn on his way. Currently, Freya just sat in a daze hugging her knees, unsure of everything that had happened while her companion goddess, Loki, simply observed her. It was easy to see that Vahn had left a very deep impression on Freya, though the main reason for her current insecurities was the fact that she had ’failed’.
Freya had never been in a situation where she was unable to complete her purpose yet, in the face of Vahn, the only thing she could do was be ’given’ purpose. No matter how hard she tried, none of her methods were able to leave an impression on the boy unless he ’let’ her. Having taken what she wanted for so long, Freya didn’t understand how she should feel when the only way she could make any progress with Vahn was to let him do as he pleased.
The scariest thing was, when she left things in the hands of Vahn, it made her feel a host of emotions she wasn’t sure how to act upon. If not for him telling her what to do, Freya would have felt terribly lost and, now that he had left her, that feeling began to spread through her heart and mind. As the warmth he had obtained from him began to fade, replaced by this sense of loss, Freya simply curled up in an attempt to keep it for even a second longer...
Loki, seeing the current state of Freya, could hardly believe she was looking at the same goddess who had toyed with others for millions of years. She never doubted that Vahn would win, especially after the day she made her vow, but, seeing how quickly he had come out ahead, Loki was awed. Still, it was what happened after that which left the deepest impression on her, as it had been a very educational experience to witness Vahn ’teaching’ the nonpareil of s.e.x what she needed to do. The fact that Freya’s purpose, at that moment, had been to simply follow Vahn’s orders, didn’t just leave an impression on Freya. Loki herself began wondering just what limits, if any, Vahn actually had...he always seemed to be able to do the impossible, time and again...
After a very long period of silence, Freya lifted her head and looked over towards Loki, asking in a muted tone, "Was this...part of your plan...?" Hearing this, Loki snapped out of her own daze and made eye contact with Freya for several long seconds before finally shaking her head, explaining, "My only plan this time around was to simply leave things in Vahn’s ’capable’ hands...I wanted to see how he would deal with the situation and, if things didn’t go well, I would help to regain control of the situation...looks like that was an unnecessary concern, though..."
Loki hadn’t missed the fact that Freya trembled slightly when she mentioned Vahn’s ’hands’. It gave her a very powerful urge to tease the once-proud goddess but, considering everything that had happened, that kind of action would just cause more problems in the long run. Instead, she simply asked, "So, Freya, what will you do now...?" This was a question Freya herself didn’t truly know the answer to, and the thing she had been thinking about over the last few minutes. Having Loki ask what her plans were, Freya didn’t know how to answer and just said, "I don’t know...whenever I think about returning to my previous life, it all seems so...pointless..."
Seeing the melancholy on Freya’s face, Loki had to take a deep breath to keep calm as her own thoughts raced through her mind. Freya was actually an important part of several of her plans so, having her in this borderline catatonic state, would be very problematic. When her precious ’children’ saw her current condition, Loki imagined it would lead to an all-out war between the Freya and Hestia Familias. Even if Freya herself commanded them not to, she no longer had that overbearing air of pride and control that followed her around everywhere she went. Loki wouldn’t be surprised if, like Preasia had in the past, Freya began wearing thick clothes and just ’lingered’ around the Manor, waiting for Vahn to give her some attention...
It was a very strange thought as, even now, Loki simply couldn’t imagine Freya wearing clothes that didn’t accent her figure. She had always been like an immaculate silver rose, meant to be admired by everyone for her unique beauty, even if there were several thorns beyond the surface. Now, however, Freya still had that same appearance but, unlike the past, all of her thorns had been systematically clipped by Vahn. In order to prevent problems, Loki needed to artificially attach some thorns to Freya’s body and mind, lest her presence becomes a veritable thorn in their sides, instead of their enemies...
After collecting her thoughts, Loki knew the best solution would be to use Vahn’s own words against Freya so, after recalling some of the things he had said, she looked into Freya’s eyes, saying, "It is very simple, Freya~." When she heard Loki say this, Freya’s eyes regained a bit of their light as she asked, "Then what do I need to do...?" Loki began to laugh in her characteristically mischevious manner before holding up her finger and exclaiming, "You just do what Vahn told you to do from the start! Remember, you made a vow, didn’t you~?"
Though she was confused for a brief moment, Freya recalled the vow she had made before Vahn ’broke’ her fragile reality into small pieces. She had promised to become a good mother if he had managed to satisfy her, something she fundamentally couldn’t refute had happened. In fact, what she had received from Vahn made it almost impossible to play any value on her past interactions. After all, those had always been her doing as she pleased, taking what she wanted from her partner and, in some extreme cases, breaking them in the process. Now, she had gotten a taste of her own medicine, leaving her with a profound sense of loss as, for the time being, the only thing she could think about was waiting for Vahn to tell her what to do next...
Freya now realized that Vahn had, from the very beginning, already told her what she ’needed’ to do. She had already known about his character beforehand as well, so Freya knew that, if she did what she was supposed to do, he would give her what she ’needed’ as well. Just imagining going a long period of time without Vahn’s care made her feel terrified, especially since she was now bound by very powerful contracts to not seek out other men. Though the provisions said nothing about women, Freya knew she would never be satisfied with such a shallow and fruitless endeavor. It was almost impossible to think that what she had ’taken’ from others was even remotely comparable to what Vahn could ’give’ her...
When this thought crossed her mind, it was almost like an ambient warmth had radiated through her body and, unlike when she had been pregnant previously, Freya brought her hands to her lower abdomen and focused on the warmth contained within. After being bound by Vahn’s golden chains, he had given her the thing she had desired but, now that she had received his ’care’, that desire had changed greatly. Freya wanted more, no, she ’needed’ more, just so that she could give meaning to her existence. In order to obtain what she needed, Freya knew that she would have to make good on her vow and, as incongruous as the thought felt, she knew that the only way left to her was to, as Vahn put it, ’behave’...
Seeing Freya’s thought process slowly guide her towards the ’correct’ route, Loki gave a curt nod before saying, "You’re not a fool, Freya, so I’ll explain it plainly to you. You should already have a proper understanding of what role you played in the Alliance. Because of your past actions, and your personality in general, you act as a natural deterrent to our enemies. Unless you want to make trouble for Vahn, you need to continue doing your duty...after all, that is the best way to guarantee you can get rewarded properly. Who knows, in time, you may even be able to receive more than just Vahn’s care, but his ’love’ as well~?"
Freya had been listening closely to Loki’s words so, when she heard the last part, her body began to tremble as a thought crossed her mind. What she had just ’received’ from Vahn had only been what he needed to give to her at that moment, not necessarily what he wanted to give to her. She could vividly recall all the moments when she was scared and full of doubt, Vahn would always show genuine concern for her, bringing her a warmth different than anything she had experienced in the past. Now, hearing Loki’s words, Freya knew that was a lot more she could receive from Vahn that what he had already given her. As terrifying a thought as this was, Freya craved that feeling to the point that her body ached just imagining it...
Understanding that her words had seeded themselves deeply within Freya’s heart and mind, Loki cracked a crooked smile before hopping to her feet. She walked over to where Freya was still seated on the bed and, surprising the uncharacteristically demure goddess, lifted the latter’s chin with a sneer, asking, "How long is the proud and elegant Freya going to sit here brooding like a child? You might not know this, but your time limit to make a favorable impression on Vahn is very limited..." When she heard this, Freya jerked her chin away from Loki, scowling at her as she asked, "What are you talking about, Loki?"
Loki’s smile only grew larger as she slowly explained, "You’ll near this very soon, but the children born between Vahn and a Goddess aren’t normal, not at all. They are actually an entirely new race, known as the Vanir...you see, Freya, one of the special characteristics of a Vanir is that they reach physical maturity in only five years...you understand, right~?"
Hearing this, Freya’s eyes widened before being replaced by a serious expression as she asked, "Is that really true...?" Loki simply nodded in return before explaining, "I’ll introduce you to her soon, but my daughter Erika already like like she is around four years old. All of the Vanir are actually mildly cognizant from birth as well, possessing very sharp minds and remarkable potential. Your child will be much the same, but that isn’t really something you need to worry about, is it~?" Because the Vanir were required to be raised in the Hearth Manor, Freya didn’t really need to worry about their upbringing at all. The thing that most heavily concerned her were the vows she had made to be given the opportunity to birth a Vanir...
Because of the availability of information at the time, the traits of a Vanir were not yet known and, as a result, the terms within the contracts were somewhat ’inaccurate’. Freya was prohibited from having a physical relationship with any other men until the child between her and Vahn reached physical maturity. This meant that, if Freya couldn’t find a spot in Vahn’s heart over the next 5-6 years, a relatively short period of time for a goddess, she would likely never be able to.
Because of how capable he was, and how quickly the power of the Alliance was increasing, Freya’s ’use’ was also very limited. Right now, she served as a deterrent of sorts but, in the very near future, this role would no longer be necessary. The Alliance itself had almost reached a critical level of power and influence, thus invalidating the need for the ’services’ she provided. Once this happened, Freya’s presence in the Alliance, unless she intended to fight for power at the top, would no longer be necessary. Since the ’power’ of the Alliance was consolidated around Vahn himself, the only way to have any real influence in the Alliance was to place yourself at his side. If Freya failed to make an impression on him, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that she would be ’thrown away’ in the future...
Though Vahn wasn’t the type of person to do such a thing, all of Freya’s prior interactions with Vahn made it very clear that he had no real fondness for her. Because of her nature, she had left a bad impression on him and, from her perspective, the only reason he had lain with her in the first place was because of the agreement made between her and the goddesses around him. They obviously wouldn’t support her if she was a negative influence on Vahn so, after she gave birth to his child, Freya would only have those few short years to earn his favor. The problem was, she had no way of doing so other than doing what he had asked from her, all while fulfilling her ’duty’ to the Alliance in its full capacity.
Freya’s expression had turned fierce, but there was an undisguised fear in her eyes as she looked towards Loki and said, "I refuse to believe you didn’t have any hand in this, Loki. There is no way Vahn simply developed those skills on his own. Even the way he handled himself, that wasn’t the way a young boy of fifteen would behave... it’s like he is much older than he seems...tell me, what other secrets are you keeping from me!?"
Because Vahn had spent so much time within the respective orbs, while also inheriting the memories of his memory fragment, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say his mental development had progressed nearly twenty years since the time he had come to the City. This wasn’t something most people could wrap their head around, especially if they were unaware of the methods he had used to obtain such growth. However, Loki didn’t see the need to explain things so she simply snorted, asking, "And what puts you in a position to make such demands? If you want to find out the answer, you’ll have to hear about it from Vahn himself...of course, developing things to the point where he trusts you with such information might be pretty difficult~?"
From Loki’s words, Freya knew there ’had’ to be secrets, very important secrets, that she wasn’t privy to at the moment. She also had no grounds to stand on in order to pressure for such secrets to be revealed, especially considering how she had acted in the past. Now, in order to avoid the terrifying prospect of being cut off from the thing she needed, Freya felt like she was being forced into a difficult position. It had always been like this, ever since she started getting involved with Vahn and the Alliance, and it was very frustrating.
Now that she had experienced it, Freya needed Vahn’s care and concern, yet, now that he had left such a deep impression on her, the only way forward was to do as Loki suggested. She had no choice but to make good on her vow with Vahn, meaning she needed to take better care of Ottar, all while dealing with her other duties. Her children had been very rowdy lately, and this was before she confessed to them that she would be unable to spend time with them. Though it didn’t matter much in the past, as she would have simply culled those that tried to stir up trouble, Freya wasn’t sure if Vahn would approve of such a method. Suddenly, it felt like all of her actions needed to be looked at through a filter, being Vahn’s approval of the methods she used...
Seeing the confused look on Freya’s face, Loki had an idea what the fretful goddess was thinking about. However, unlike what was going through Freya’s mind, Loki knew there were some things that were simply necessary to avoid future trouble. Sitting on the bed a little bit away from Freya, she opened her slitted eyes slightly and said, "Nobody is telling you to change your methods so quickly, Freya. One thing you have to keep in mind is that Vahn simply doesn’t pay that much attention to what goes on outside of his own life unless it impacts him and the people he cares about. Take care of your business, clean up any loose ends, and then work hard to become a good mother. There may be some problems in the future, but Vahn is an empathetic boy and will show you leniency as long as you take care of things in a neat and tidy manner..."
Hearing this, Freya gave Loki a confused look before realization appeared on her face a moment later. For the first time since their conversation began, a smile touched Freya’s lips as she asked, "Loki, have you been keeping secrets from Vahn...?" Loki snorted, opening her ruby-like eyes to reveal an almost sinister glint as she said, "You know as well as I do how f.u.c.k.i.e.d this world can be at times. Vahn is working hard to change things, but that doesn’t mean things will be easy, especially if he wants to keep his hands relatively clean. Though he has the necessary decisiveness to do what is required of him, that is not the route any of us wish for him to take. When you have a better understanding of Vahn, you’ll understand exactly why my actions are necessary. If you can’t get to that point, you’ll probably never be able to stand at his side...you’ll just be the mother of one of his children, nothing more..."
Loki stood up from the bed, making her way to the elevator without continuing the conversation further. She had already said what needed to be said, so the rest was up to Freya to decide on. If she truly wished to stand at Vahn’s side in the future, there were plenty of actions she would have to take to get to that point. In all likelihood, she and Freya would have to work together a great deal in the future, so Loki wanted her to sort out her problems sooner, rather than later. So, just as she pressed the mechanism to bring the elevator down, Loki looked over her shoulder and said, "Hurry along, Freya...time isn’t really a commodity you can afford to waste..."
The elevator moved silently but, as it came to a stop, the clicking of a mechanism sounded that caused the doors to open. Loki was about to take a step through but, remembering the conversation she had with Vahn regarding the Vanir, Loki made eye contact with Freya and seriously stated, "The child you have in your belly, that is something very precious to Vahn. You would do well to care for it very seriously...don’t let it end up as something like you. For your own happiness, you should make sure your own son or daughter are stable existences that won’t cause problems in the future. It wouldn’t end well for you if the child you give birth to causes Vahn physical, mental, or emotional strain...never forget that, Freya..."
(A/N: Alternate Titles: ’Wat do...’,’Silver-Haired Goddess, Silver-Tongued Goddess’,’The shadows of Lenneth...’)
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