Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

"Hey, you two, enjoying the festival?" Persia greeted them, as they lined up behind us.

"Yeah, some of the attractions are really fun. Way to go, Kuro, this is pretty awesome," Said Key with a nod of approval.

"I've got some feedback about one of the attractions, actually...the haunted house needs to be scarier," Sighed Rai wistfully.

"Oh, uh...duly noted. But, hold on a sec, wasn't the haunted house your suggestion? And I'm pretty sure I told you that a haunted house doesn't really work in this world, man," I responded with a look of exasperation.

"Y-yeah, but...girl cute screams...and cling to your arms and stuff...," He whined, his sentences not even coherent anymore.

Ohh, I get it, he was hoping for a clichéd reaction from Key in there, but is now disappointed because she didn't get scared. Idiot.

"That, uh, didn't really make sense," Laughed Persia, as Key let out an exasperated sigh.

"By the way, dude, what can I expect from this place? I wasn't involved with this one, so I don't really know much about it," Said Rai curiously, as the line moved forward a little bit at a time.

"It's pretty simple, couples compete against each other in a series of games, and whichever couple wins the most gets a prize or something," I summed it up briefly.

"Oh, cool. Now that you mention it, it does look like they're taking in two couples at a time...," Noticed Rai, before counting the number of couples still in front of us, "Hey, looks like we'll be going up against each other."

Yeah, I'd made that request to the attendant, but it turned out to be unnecessary, since we lined up together, and as a result, would've be pitted against each other regardless.

"Sounds like fun, but we'll be the winning pair," Declared Key confidently.

"Oh, yeah?" Responded Persia with a smirk, before adding as she turned to me, "Well, then, let's make sure we crush them, Kuro."

"Yup, no holding back," I grinned in reply.

"Actually, uh...maybe you could hold back a little bit? At least depending on what kind of contests we're-," Began Rai sheepishly.

"Don't be a wimp, it won't be satisfying unless we defeat them after they go all out," Huffed Key firmly.

Yeah, she's always been kinda competitive, so this is no surprise...damn it, it's at times like these that I remember the fact that she's not actually Key. A part of me wishes that I could forget, and I probably could erase that memory using some of the Divine Magic now at my disposal, but...

...but I can't. Or rather, I won't...I won't let myself forget. I don't know if what I did was the right call or not, but regardless, what's done is done. Forgetting about it would be wildly irresponsible on my part, it's my cross to bear...

"Kuro? You good, dude? Hello? We're at the front of the line, it'll be our turn any minute now," Remarked Rai as he shook me, snapping me out of it.

"Oh, uh...right, sorry, just got a bit lost in thought is all," I apologized, as I pushed those thoughts down.

Like I said, what's done is done, so there's no point in agonizing over it, that won't change a thing. I need to focus on the present right now.

It wasn't long before the couples that went in before us came out, one pair looking triumphant, while the other two looked kinda sour. We were then ushered in and up the stairs, where several games had been set up.

As we reached the first floor, a Vampire greeted us with a polite bow, before addressing us with a smile...

"Welcome to Couple vs Couple, we hope you enjoy yourselves. I shall now give you a brief overview of the rules...there are several games available, but due to time constraints, you will go up against each other in three games. Each couple may pick one of the games, while the third will be picked at random. If one pair wins the first two games, thereby winning the contest, the losing pair will choose whether to go on with the third game or to end the contest. The winning pair will receive a prize, which will be revealed after the contest is over. Here are the list of the available games, and feel free to ask any questions if you find anything unclear."

Nice, he's got a friendly yet professional attitude, and his explanation was pretty simple and clear. I think I should set up more of these bowling alley-type places, and maybe an amusement park too. I'll hold that thought for later.

As for right now, let's see what kind of games we've got to choose from...oh, wow, this is pretty good, there's a lot of options available. Table tennis, an eating contest, darts, bottle flip, something called 'paintball Russian roulette', blind taste test, plus a few more.

"We should pick something that we're likely to win, huh?" Surmised Persia, as she peered over my shoulder.

"Yeah, that's what makes the most strategic sense...how about darts? I'm pretty confident in my accuracy," I suggested, after skimming through the list again.

My accuracy aside, darts existed in this world before, so she's familiar with it too. Figured that's the way to go, instead of picking something that she's unfamiliar with.

"Sure, I'm fine with that...by the way, what's this one? What does 'Russian' mean?" She inquired curiously, kinda butchering the pronunciation.

"A country in my old world, so it doesn't really make sense here," I replied wryly.

"Have you made your choices?" Inquired the Vampire, after about half a minute had passed since handing us the list of games.

"Yeah, we pick darts," I responded, as I gave the list back.

"And we pick the eating contest!" Grinned Rai, as he did the same.

With the first two games set, the Vampire then took out a small bowl with a bunch of folded up bits of paper in it. He shook the bowl around a bit, before picking one of the folded pieces and setting the bowl aside. He then unfolded the paper and showed us what was written on it. The third game was going to be...

"Aw, man, paintball Russian roulette? That sounds so messy," Groaned Rai in dismay.

Gotta agree, not to mention that it's purely luck-based and has nothing to do with skill. Well, an eating contest doesn't really require much skill either, but that's different.

Oh, well, in that case, let's just try and win the first two games...that way, we won't have to worry about the third round.

Anyway, the first game was darts, though instead of the proper rules, we played a more abridged version of the game. Specifically, each couple was given a total of five throws, with the rule that each person must throw at least twice apiece.

After each throw, the dart's distance from the bullseye will be measured and tallied up, and whichever couple racks up the smaller total, wins. Rai and I both landed three bullseyes each, we were both pretty proficient with throwing stuff, so this was pretty easy, hitting a stationary target.

Persia didn't do too badly, managing to get within a couple of inches of the bullseye, but Key didn't fare all that well. One of her throws missed the board entirely, while the other throw wasn't anywhere near the bullseye.

"Damn it...it's my fault we lost," She muttered in frustration, as Rai attempted to console her.

"Shake it off, babe, it's just a game! And the contest is just getting started, let's put this loss behind us and win the next game!" He remarked encouragingly.

"Yeah, okay...I suppose you have a point."

Next up, was the eating contest. We were taken to a table, where we were made to sit facing the other couple, as four chocolate bars were placed in front of each couple.

"The rules are simple...only one person from each couple may eat one bar at a time, and one person can't eat two bars at a time. In other words, couples must alternate who's eating with each bar consumed. Whichever couple finishes four bars first without breaking any of the rules...will win," Explained the Vampire, before counting down the start of the game.

Heh, I've got this in the bag...all I have to do is use my Healing Factor to widen my mouth and throat, so that I can just swallow the chocolate in an instant. Persia and Rai would be starting, so I'll be eating the second and fourth bars.

As soon as the countdown ended, the two of them quickly began eating, chomping into the chocolate and chewing rapidly. Looks like the chocolates have been chilled, to prevent them from getting too melty, but they weren't that cold either, they broke apart with relative ease.

Rai finished a couple of seconds before Persia did, and as Key began wolfing down hers, I smirked as I swallowed a chocolate bar whole, before she'd even finished a quarter of her chocolate.

"H-hey, no fair!" Protested Rai, as I shrunk my mouth and throat down back to normal with a smug look on my face.

"There's nothing in the rules to stop me," I countered with a smirk.

Persia quickly began eating her second bar, after initially looking taken aback at what I'd just done, before I finished the game off as Rai got through about halfway down his second bar.

"Looks like we win," Grinned Persia, high-fiving me.

"Only because you played dirty," Frowned Key in response.

"Hey, now, no need to be a sore loser," I replied with an innocent smile.

"Er, the contest has been decided, and now, the losing couple can decide on whether they want to pursue the third game or not," Spoke up the Vampire, a bit awkwardly.

Uh-oh...

"Oh, that's right...yeah, let's go for it, I'd dearly love to see someone get splattered with paint...," Responded Rai, as he narrowed his eyes at Persia and me...

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