Dungeon Defense (WN)

It happened right when Jeremi was about to refute the knight.

“Get your bullshit out of here! Do you think we’ll surrender to a dog of Brittany!?”

A middle-aged man with a thick beard stepped forward and shouted before Jeremi could say anything.

It was like a chain reaction after one person shouted. The other soldiers loudly agreed as they started swearing at the knight. Some of them even threw rocks at him. The knight easily blocked 6 to 7 stones with his hand.

“Fools. You have already lost.”

The knight continued.

“Those of you here are nothing more than stragglers of a defeated army. Do you intend to kick aside this rare chance for mercy? Think carefully. Just hand your commander over. We promise to let the rest of you go home safely…….”

“We’ll consider it if you guys hand over your queen first.”

One of our soldiers suggested mockingly.

“Don’t they say she has a harem of over 200 pretty boys and plays with them!? But did you guys know? They say the Queen of Brittany never bangs only one pretty boy, but four at once.”

“Oh, why is that?”

“One penis isn’t enough to fill her hole since she’s done it so many times. One isn’t enough, so she has no other choice but to use two!”

The civilian soldiers cackled. Hoo. I let out a sigh.

On the other hand, the knight’s face contorted. Seeing his reaction, he probably wasn’t a knight who grew up in the sticks but was raised in a knight academy consuming the luxuries of his nation. In other words, he was a dweeb. He was shaking with anger after hearing some cheesy dirty talk.

“How dare you…….”

“Wait, but that’s only two pretty boys. What about the other two?”

“There isn’t only a single hole that a penis can go in. You know, hehehe. When the proud Queen of Brittany has sex, I heard she looks like a masturbating spider with all those pretty boys on her.”

The soldiers burst out in laughter.

“Sheesh, we can’t lose to that! Hurray for the queen spider.”

“Do not worry, Sir Knight. We’re pretty well known in Frankia when it comes to sex. Even if you can’t satisfy her with your soft dicks, we’re confident that we can send Her Highness over the edge. Hurry up and bring her on over!”

“…….”

The knight was staring daggers at us. He then turned his horse around and left. Our soldiers laughed louder.

“Soft dick impotent brat!”

“Come back after you peel your dick, kid!”

I let out a forced laugh. Even Jeremi was laughing beside me.

I muttered quietly.

“It seems I am commanding quite the generous soldiers.”

“Yes, indeed.”

Volunteer soldiers who were assembled urgently were more trustworthy than allied cavalrymen who had lost pitifully. I would’ve laughed if this were a joke, but I could only let out a forced laugh since it was actually the truth.

These individuals were fighting in this war because I had incited them. Their beginning may have been a lie, but their wills were true. They were actual human beings compared to a clown like me. The Emperor tried to start a civil war in a land where people like this lived? It was hard to think he was sane.

I made my decision.

“Gather the injured separately.”

“Pardon me?”

“I will use a teleportation artifact to move them to a city behind us. Even if the enemy accepts our surrender, there is no way they will treat our injured fairly. They will continue to suffer before eventually passing over to the other side.”

If we move them to a city behind us, then they should be able to get treated. The treatment was probably going to be crude, but it was better than nothing. The fact that the nobles’ armies were wiped out in today’s battle made the civilian militia more important. The city managers will treat these soldiers so that they won’t have to surrender to Brittany.

Jeremi spoke with a concerned look on her face.

“But, Commander. How many teleportation scrolls do you even have?”

“I have enough to at least protect myself.”

I tapped my chest.

“You know very well how much money I have, right? Well, these artifacts cost far more than a few dozen gold coins, but think of this as the generosity of a parvenu. I should award them appropriately for their great performance.”

“Haa. All right……if you say so.”

Jeremi grumbled about how I was using money like running water. Jeremi knew that the funding for the soldiers’ provisions was also from my pockets.

We gathered our injured to a single place. There was a man who kept shouting that he was still fine and to leave him alone, but what could a man with broken bones do……? He got knocked out by Jeremi in a single blow and was obediently dragged away. The other soldiers laughed as they watched that unfold.

Our morale was sufficient and we were overflowing with composure. This was probably the most suitable unit for combat.

We filled the gaps between our fences with the warhorses that had piled up. It was like we had built a small fortress. It was around this time that Brittany’s forces approached us.

There was nothing more to say about their approach.

The enemy forces repeated the same tactic they had performed since early dawn. Have they not grown sick and tired of this by now? Their mounted archers would fire a volley of arrows from about 20-30 meters away before their cavalrymen would charge with their lances.

However, their impact had diminished greatly.

The trees became a natural shield for us along with our wooden fences. They were vital in protecting us from both the arrows and the cavalry charges.

The enemy became more exhausted. The Saintess’ hymn, in other words, their momentary buff had lost its effect. The cavalrymen were clearly moving slower after having charged over and over again for 6 to 7 hours. They would’ve still been a force to be reckoned with if we were on the plains, but we were in a forest. Our civilian soldiers splendidly fended the enemy off three times.

“Retreat!”

Even after their fourth charge, the enemy cavalrymen had to withdraw without obtaining any sort of ground. They simply continued to lose their expensive warhorses. The corpses of the warhorses became new barricades for the enemy to charge through.

“Huhaha! Mr. Priest, these guys aren’t anything impressive!”

“Only their suits of armor are shiny! But their balls are tiny!”

“Aah. Amazing work.”

I praised them with a hoarse voice.

Our army had completely regained its confidence. However, this favorable situation wasn’t going to last long.

The enemy also had infantrymen. Infantrymen who were overflowing with energy and stamina since they hadn’t participated in the battle yet. If they come here and start a close-quarters battle, then we would lose. In the end, this was simply a light in the darkness……The final ember.

The best result would be Brittany’s army giving us a chance to surrender again. But this time, with fairly generous conditions. Brittany had already won the overall battle. There was no way they would want to waste their infantrymen. That was our only hope.

After one final cavalry charge, the enemy sent an envoy. It was a noble wearing a red mantle. The young noble shouted once he got near the wooden fences.

“I am Baronet Garzon de Dezei of Brittany. Who is your commander!?”

“Goddess Artemis is our commander!”

One of our soldiers shouted back bluntly.

“And the person acting as the substitute for our commander is Jean Bole!”

“Jean Bole……. I see, <Madman Jean Bole>, is it?”

The noble nodded as if he came to understand something.

I learned for the first time what the people in Brittany called Jean Bole. The Mad Priest!? They have a terrible naming sense. I guess it would be illogical to expect some sort of sense from those Brittany pigs…….

“Priest Jean Bole, I wish to speak with you!”

“If I am correct, we have already been conversing for 7 hours.”

I answered as I stepped out from between our spearmen.

The noble took off his hat and gave a polite bow. I followed the decorum of a priest and returned his greeting. Our two sides naturally came to a momentary armistice. The noble put his feathered hat back on before getting straight to the point.

“Priest Jean Bole, is the war not already over?”

“If I remember correctly, the Queen of Brittany mentioned that war is an eternal struggle for warriors. My ears must already be failing me.”

I shrugged.

“People age quickly on the battlefield. Am I wrong, Baronet Garzon de Dezei?”

“O noble priest of Selene. You do not have to prove to me that you are an eloquent speaker.”

The noble gave a troubled laugh.

“Your reputation is well known to us as well. Our Queen would often listen to philosophical speeches before she ascended the throne. I believe that they are noble and adequate for nobles like myself. Nonetheless, before being a noble, I am here as a soldier.”

“Very well, then. Then what are the words that Garzon as a soldier wishes to say?”

The noble took in a deep breath before speaking.

“Will you choose an honorable surrender or a shameful death!?”

“…….”

It was a straightforward question. Will you surrender or die a dog’s death here?

Once I went silent, the young noble beyond the wooden fence spoke in a dignified tone.

“Priest Jean Bole, this might seem pointless, but let me ask you this one thing. What do you think is the difference between belief and obsession?”

“Belief is rational while obsession is emotional.”

“A textbook answer.”

The noble smiled.

“As a soldier, this is what I believe. Belief is walking forward boldly while believing in your chance of victory while obsession is running straight to defeat.”

I understood what the noble was implying.

“There are things that can be gained by being defeated.”

However, I had to deflect it back at least once. If I just said ‘Yes, I understand,’ then that would restrict our surrender conditions even more. I intentionally responded in a stern tone.

“If that is the pride of one’s nation, then that would not be a shameful death. I have no reason to believe that surrendering is more honorable.”

 “Of course, the history books will praise Jean Bole and his civilian militia; however, would their praises not simply become mud? The descendants of your nation will never forget the sin you had committed by allowing innocent commoners to die on a battlefield for the sake of the nation’s pride.”

“…….”

I pretended as if I were mulling over his words. Did he think he had persuaded me? The noble threw in another comment.

“Please cherish the lives of the people. Priest Jean Bole, there is no reason for the commoners to foolishly bear the responsibility, to shed tears and blood for this civil war.”

The soldiers behind me shouted once he finished.

“No, you guys are the ones who invaded us first! You guys are the ones who confined His Excellency the Emperor!”

“Sir Priest! There is nothing to hear from this lad. Let us crush that dandy man’s face!”

“I won’t rest until I kill all those Brittany runts! Boo!”

I slowly raised my right hand. The soldiers promptly shut their mouths. I spoke once it had become silent again.

“……What guarantee is there that you will not harm the soldiers who have surrendered?”

“I swear on every Goddess. ……would probably not be enough to relieve you of your concerns.”

The noble chuckled awkwardly.

“Her Highness the Queen is currently interested in something else. Her goal is to pursue and eliminate the remnants of Duke Guise’s and Batavia’s army. If I may be honest, your civilian militia is nothing more than a thorn in our side.”

“Uncomfortable, but nothing beyond that.”

“Correct.”

The noble raised his hand to his chest and swore.

“Throw away all of your weapons and surrender. Your army does not possess any soldiers with considerable value. Head east with your free hands and feet. I swear on my family and my lord’s honor that my unit will be your guarantor and escort you to the nearest city.”

“…….”

I closed my eyes.

The afternoon sun shined through my eyelids. I dwelled upon the sun of St. Dennis Plains with both my face and body. The sunlight seeped into my skin. This imprinted into me my first defeat.

I opened my mouth.

“We will surrender.”

***

TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. My birthday is over and so is this war segment! I’d celebrate but there were 3 mosquitos in my room last night, so my legs are just covered in bites now. I’m suffering. I did manage to kill them all, but the damage has been done. Why do mosquitos exist?

Welp, I’ll see you guys in the next chapter. Maybe these mosquito bites will have faded away by then… Probably not.

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