Dungeon Defense (WN)

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An attendant’s morning is busy.

I have to get up as soon as I open my eyes at around 5 in the morning. I then move quickly. It takes about 15 minutes to wear my uniform properly. I leave my room while chewing on the leftover piece of wheat bread from last night.

“Oh, Mr. Lolita.”

“Good morning, Mr. Lolita.”

The maids were already awake as they greeted me. There were rooms exclusive to the maids on the west side of the palace, and among those rooms was a larger room where six people resided together.

“Aren’t you being way too casual when entering a maiden’s room!?”

“My apologies. Being able to behold such a beautiful sight every morning helps me wake up.”

“Hahaha.”

The maids giggled. Even the way they laughed was stylish. Everyone here was either the third or fourth daughter of a noble household. The room was luxurious as it even had a fireplace, and it was this very fireplace that held my interest.

I had left some stones to cook overnight inside the fireplace. I used a pair of tongs to pick them up and put them inside a wooden container. Two wooden containers were soon filled with rocks. I lifted up the containers with both my arms.

“Then, I will be taking my leave now, ladies.”

“Wait one moment. May I go with you?”

A lovely maid followed me right as I was about to leave the room. Dear me, this has been happening a lot lately. I could hear the other maids say things like “Oh my, you’re so brave, Eliel!” and “Oh my gosh!” behind me.

“It’s not like that!”

The maid turned around and shouted at the others. She was blushing.

She looked up at me carefully. Her gaze was asking me for permission. It can’t be helped……. I kept my annoyance on the inside as I smiled brightly.

“Of course, Miss Eliel. I cannot escort you, but you are free to join me.”

“……Thank you.”

We walked shoulder to shoulder down the hallway of the palace. I heard the sound of teasing from the other maids again from behind us. Someone even whistled. Rumors about Eliel and I will probably have spread throughout the entire palace by tonight. 

“You are such a kind man, Mr. Lolita. It is hard to believe that you are a commoner.”

“That is a rather stereotypical viewpoint, Miss Eliel. The world is overflowing with commoners far more courteous than I.”

“Is that so? I find that hard to believe.”

Eliel giggled cutely.

Would this be called a date? The Habsburg imperial palace was incredibly vast and it was filled with desolate areas. It wasn’t uncommon for servants who had taken a liking to each other to have a ‘pleasant night’ in one of these desolate areas.

A couple secretly having sex inside the most magnificent palace in the world……. It was a luxury that far surpassed normal people’s means.

“Luckily, this morning has been warm. It is getting a bit hot, though.”

Eliel commented as she flapped the collar of her dress a bit. This was an obvious attempt at sex appeal. I pretended to not notice.

“Is that so? Well, the maid outfits are heavier than what the men have to wear. Just imagining how hot it will be for you ladies once summer arrives is dreadful. I will be impressed every time I see one of the maids outside.”

“……That isn’t true, we at least do less laborious work.”

Eliel looked a bit disappointed. Don’t do that. You’re making it seem like I did something bad.

Still, this maid was more on the meek side. There was a girl who approached me and flat out asked to spend the night together. Geez, be it Crown Prince Rudolf, Imperial Princess Elizabeth, or the ministers, there were a lot of things I had to be concerned about, so only my stress was building up.

It wasn’t like I particularly disliked sex. I just felt unwilling because her intentions were so obvious.

I was a commoner who was bestowed a surname by His Excellency the Emperor and was instantly made into Her Highness Johanna’s exclusive attendant. I was also the lead character in the tales sung by wandering minstrels lately in the capital. There was probably no game more appetizing to young women than someone like me. “I slept with him!”, this one line alone would be enough to make you a star within the palace.

In other words, I was in a bubble economy. A bubble that far surpasses my actual value was being inflated.

It was ridiculous. The very fact that I was being mentioned by other people’s mouths was dangerous in itself. Why would I take a risk just to have a moment of pleasure?

I preferred women who didn’t care about popularity or rumors. “Who cares about rumors? Fuck that! First and foremost, I like you. Now take your pants off for a second!”, a girl who’s able to say something like this openly and confidently walk down her own path is what I think is charming. I admit that this might be a weird preference as well, but whatever.

“Come to think of it, I heard that Her Highness Johanna likes sweet snacks.”

“That is correct. She always makes a fuss and orders me to get her snacks. It is rather troubling…….”

I let out a sigh.

Referentially, Her Highness Johanna had completely become like my little sister in my mind. I want snacks! I want to eat Speiseeis! She would ask for snacks regardless of the time and place.

If I tell her that she shouldn’t eat sweets all the time, she would roll around on the floor. This wasn’t rhetoric. She would literally roll on the ground. “Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!”, she would cry out. It was maddening. Her taste in food and behavior was undeniably that of a brat!

Normally, getting snacks from the kitchen was an easy task; however, I wasn’t exactly in a good position. I was being treated as the guy who had suddenly shot up the ranks. I would have to plead to the servants in the kitchen to acquire that day’s snacks.

When I drag my tired feet to her room and hand Her Highness the snacks……Imperial Princess Johanna would smile brightly like a blooming flower.

“Thanks, Lolita!”

She would then hug me.

The Imperial Princess hugged anyone. It didn’t matter whether they were an old person or a commoner, she would do it to anyone if she felt like it. Was she not amazing? This absolutely wasn’t a simple matter.

Everyone who was in the range of her smile would suddenly get hit and sink. Sebastian and I would smile bitterly and forgive Her Highness and she would become happy. In the end, Her Highness’ stubbornness will get to us again later.

“It would be disrespectful to say this, but Her Highness Johanna is cute.”

“Quite. It is impossible to resist Her Highness.”

That’s right, she has a strange charm to her. That master of mine. That’s why it was hard to leave her be…….

“I know a good snack shop in the city. Do you want me to introduce you to them?”

“In the city?”

“I heard that the servants in the kitchen have been giving you a rough time.”

I see, was she trying to be considerate now? She wasn’t a simple girl who would back down simply because her straight dash had failed.

Eliel spoke with a bright smile.

“If an exclusive attendant like Mr. Lolita were to keep lowering your head to the kitchen servants, then……An attendant’s dignity is also the dignity of their master. Isn’t that right?”

She was being considerate and she also brought up the obligation of an attendant. Now I had no reason to refuse her. She seemed fully intent on making me indebted to her.

I smiled wryly as I decided to back down.

“Thank you very much. I didn’t even consider going out to the city. I am still lacking in many ways. I will continue to be under your guidance.”

“Don’t mention it. We’re both in a situation where we have to work hard.”

Shortly after, we arrived at Her Highness Johanna’s room. Eliel excused herself and walked off as soon as we reached the door. Those were the footsteps of a winner.

“Hoo.”

Now I understood. The Habsburg Empire’s palace was a place where demons resided. It wasn’t only the Crown Prince and Elizabeth. There wasn’t a single person here who was easy to deal with……seriously.

I knocked on the door.

“Your Highness, it’s Defensor. Did you sleep well?”

No response. There was no response no matter how many times I called out to her. This was something I was used to as well now. It wasn’t until I knocked about twenty times that I heard a tiny voice from behind the door. She was probably telling me to come in.

“Pardon me.”

I opened the door.

A thick, red carpet was laid out on the floor in this room that was made completely out of marble. The morning sun entered through the expensive skylight. This room was incomparable to my pathetic personal room. Well, unsurprisingly.

“Mmmmm……Lolita……?”

The owner of the room, Her Highness Johanna, had her face buried in her bed. Her voice grumbled strangely.

Her blanket had been pushed so far into the corner of her bed that it dropped to the floor, giving me the honor of being able to see her sleepwear. Her calves and stomach were on full display. I was also used to this.

“Yes, it’s Defensor. Your Highness, were you able to sleep well?”

“Ngggh……the sun……block the sun…….”

“As you command.”

I put down the wooden containers and headed to the window. I then pulled open the curtains fully. It was still early in the morning, but the sunlight shined brightly through the window. As expected of this palace that was built in the sunniest place in the empire and the Imperial Princess’ room which was located in the perfect spot to receive the sun.

“Guah, uaaaaaah……!”

Her Highness Johanna groaned like a zombie. I ignored her.

I headed to the bathtub in the center of the room. This pure white bathtub was the most expensive and luxurious item in Her Highness’ bedroom. Whenever there was a toxic substance in the bathwater, it would automatically detect it and purify it. Thanks to this, there was no need to refill it with water every morning.

– Splash, splash, splash.

I dropped the stones that had been left to cook all night. Steam rapidly started to form. My schedule would start like this every morning, heating up Her Highness Johanna’s bathtub.

“Sun, the sun……it is trying to kill me. Lolita, defeat the sun……!”

“That is a troubling order. Even I cannot defeat Apollo, the God of the Sun. Your Highness, what made you sleep so late last night?”

“I was reading an epic that has been trending in Frankia recently…….”

In other words, she stayed up all night reading a novel.

I chuckled as I dipped my hand in the water to check the temperature. Mm, the heat was just right.

I’d have less work if there were a fireplace in Her Highness’ bedroom. Her Highness may have constantly received the cold shoulder from her family until now, but her bedroom was at least still of the highest quality. This room had an artifact installed in it that allowed the temperature to be controlled freely.

If a different servant were to enter this room, they would’ve probably passed out. It made me lightheaded just imagining how much gold was poured into making this room…….

“Your Highness, the preparations are complete. It’s time for your morning bath.”

“Why do people have to wash their bodies every day……? Field animals are able to go for several days without washing. Humans were made wrong……. The world is unfair…….”

“That’s because humans are struggling to differentiate themselves from animals. Now then, Your Highness.”

In the end, I had to help Her Highness up myself.

Her Highness Johanna stumbled her way to the bathtub. Her one-piece sleepwear slipped down with each step she took. Her slender and white body was gradually revealed. She carefully dipped her toes into the bathtub before slipping in entirely.

“Haaaa-.”

Her Highness Johanna let out a pleasant sigh after she submerged her body. She splashed her face with water. It felt like I was watching a kitten.

Johanna muttered with an utterly relaxed expression on her face.

“I might be living just for the sake of this single moment.”

“As expected of Your Highness, to be trying to find a meaning to life even though you are only 14 years old.”

I sat next to the tub. I held Her Highness’ right arm and earnestly rubbed flower-scented oil on her skin. Her skin became glossy and smooth as I applied the oil.

“Hm? Are you praising me?”

“Of course, Your Highness. Your Highness Johanna von Habsburg is the most beautiful and wisest person in the world. How could I possibly say anything other than praises to such an individual?”

“That’s right, huh? Hahaha. I really am amazing.”

“Now then, Your Highness. It’s time for your left arm.”

Her Highness Johanna obediently held her left arm out to me. How cute.

It’s obvious, but I could only see her as being cute. Why would I start harboring weird thoughts after seeing a 14-year-old girl’s bare skin? I’m a completely sensible human being. Her Highness wouldn’t have hired me in the first place if I had such interests.

“The grand hunting party will finally be held in 4 days. Your Highness, you have done a great job preparing until now.”

“Yeah! I really did work hard. Ugh, I’m definitely going to refuse if Father asks me to handle this again next time.”

Her Highness Johanna shuddered inside the bathwater. She seemed to be gnashing her teeth. In truth, Her Highness Johanna had only made the plans. Sebastian was the one who did all of the actual negotiations and preparations.

“I absolutely won’t ever do this kind of work again!”

Sebastian screamed the same thing last night.

Sebastian had lost a lot of hair in the past few weeks. I may have assisted him on the side, but I was still a rookie when it came to practical work. I wasn’t that much help. Poor Sebastian……. He already seemed worried about his hair.

“You just have to endure for 4 more days. Just 4.”

“Ugh, 4 days……. 4 days…….”

I washed her hair and applied the fragrant oil to it afterward as well.

Her Highness Johanna got out of the tub. I wiped down her wet body with a high-quality towel. I was done once I finished drying her hair. After this, I had to leave her to the maids who specialized in make-up and grooming.

I wrapped a piece of cloth around Her Highness Johanna who had become dry and soft.

“But Your Highness can do it, isn’t that so?”

“Mhm.”

Her Highness Johanna fluttered the white piece of cloth like a mantle as she nodded.

“Naturally. I’m amazing, after all. Lolita, make sure you’re able to keep up with me in the future.”

“Of course, my master.”

I placed my hand on my chest and bowed. A bright ray of sunlight was now entering through the window. Her Highness Johanna’s silver hair shined.

***

TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. Uh, I got nothing to say for this chapter. I sort of covered everything I wanted to say in the last chapter, so, uh, I hope you guys have a good day? Summer is coming to an end, so the weather is becoming more bearable. Congrats to everyone who survived.

I’ll see you guys in the next chapter.

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