Chapter 55: Pheromones
After that the meeting ended and we headed back to my room. I tasked Legiana to get the Phoenixes settled in and I flew back to my room.
When I dropped Cecilia off I saw Lily walk eagerly up to Cecilia.
“Did all go as you desired, my love?” Lily said as she walked up to Cecilia and Cecilia pulled her body close until they were chest to chest.
“All went as planned. No surprises unfortunately, the wise and the foolish behaved just as I expected.” Cecilia said as she ran a hand along the back of Lily’s waist.
Cecilia had moved into my room, she said she didn’t like the royal bedchamber so she just gave it back to her mother. This arrangement of course might change when she inevitably gets married in order to sire a heir but for now she could do whatever she wanted.
The official story was that she liked my counsel, but in truth she was just lonely and she needed a place where no one would disturb her or overhear as she fucked Lily’s brains out. It was kind of endearing in a way, this room was like a place where the three of us could be who we truly are.
Also let’s just say Cecilia has been quite repressed ever since she sent Lily out to seduce the prince. As far as I can tell, ever since they were reunited, Cecilia has been ravishing Lily every chance she got. Which is kind of weird in a way, because Cecilia told me she had modeled Lily’s new body after herself. Which means Cecilia is kinda… fucking… herself…
Oh well, whatever floats her boat I guess.
I shifted my attention back to the pair of them. I saw that they were talking dirty to each other.
“I think this deserves a celebration…” Cecilia said as she cupped Lily’s cheek.
“Ohh yes… what are you going to do?” Lily replied lustfully.
“Oh I am going to do so many things to you…” Cecilia said as she leaned in and whispered into her ear before running her tongue along Lily’s neck.
“Oh yes… I am yours…” Lily said wetly, pink in the face.
Then I heard a knock on the door. I turned and I immediately sensed the pair of them break apart as Lily smoothed out her ruffled dress. The dress near her chest was slightly ruffled from where Cecilia was groping her.
“Erm excuse me… Great Beast? Are you in?” I heard Beatrice call out from the other side of the door.
I looked over at the pair and I saw Cecilia nod as she finished readjusting her dress as Lily stood behind her looking like a normal servant.
“Come in.” I said as I watched the door open.
Beatrice came in followed by that poor Aaron boy. Beatrice was holding a box and I had a feeling that my feather was in that box.
“Ah, your grace…” Beatrice said with a bow.
“It’s Empress now.” I corrected and Beatrice flinched at the comment.
“My apologies, Empress.” Beatrice said hurriedly.
“It’s fine, what do you need Madam Beatrice?” Cecilia asked.
“Oh, I just wanted to tell you I managed to damage the feathers.” Beatrice said excitedly.
“Oh? How have you accomplished this?” Cecilia asked curiously.
“A special kind of poison…” Beatrice said as she opened the box to reveal the feather that looks like it was… half-rotted… poison doesn’t rot things… do they? They cause dead flesh and then that rots, I know feathers rot but they don’t rot that quickly…
“Plague Manticore venom acts with the properties of a disease, there are special pathogens that are localized within the venom that only activate once in contact with organic matter. It causes accelerated decomposition as the pathogen eats the affected organic material.
It is nicknamed the Consuming Venom because the venom quite literally eats away at the flesh.” Beatrice explained as I levitated the feather in front of me to examine it.
Now that is cool…
“Alright… I’m impressed…” I said as I shedded an armor plate off my arm and I placed it on the floor next to her. It was a small piece that was at the joints so she should be able to carry this one out.
“As agreed the next layer. Let’s see how you do against that.” I said and Beatrice’s eyes lit up in excitement. This was good information, I didn’t even know such Venoms existed, my Pathogens were diseases and toxins mixed together into a cocktail. I didn’t know venoms could have disease-like properties that actively ate away at organic material…
Well, I guess I should do something nice for these two…
“How was your date?” I asked casually.
“Huh? Date?” Beatrice asked.
“That dinner, at the Just Friend’s Diner.” I replied as I looked down at the pair of them. I could smell the pheromones radiating off both of them. Beatrice liked the Aaron boy too but she was just so clueless that she didn’t know his very obvious advances were advances. I’ve heard all about it, the flowers, the chocolates and the massages. This silly girl still thinks it’s a friendly gesture.
“Oh, we couldn’t find that one…” Beatrice replied as a bitter expression appeared on Aaron’s face. I guess that wasn’t a good date… if you are generous with the definition of a date…
“It must have closed down then. Now then I’m going to do you two a favor…” I replied calmly.
“A favor?” Beatrice asked.
“Yes, you see when you humans want to mate you let off this smell… and I can smell it whenever the two of you are together. It’s radiating off you like a miasma…” I said as I looked down at the pair of them and I saw Aaron’s face turn scarlet but Beatrice’s face turned red too.
“Both of you smell like that…” I said as I looked at Aaron and his eyes widened as his embarrassment turned to shock.
“Wait…” Aaron said.
“Yes she likes you, she wants you to fuck her.” I said in exasperation.
“And he wants to put his baby in you.” I said as I looked down and shifted my head to look down at Beatrice whose face was so red, I could see an increased heat signature on her face.
“Oh…” Aaron said, his face now tomato red.
“Oh for the love of…” I said as I watched the two of them fidget.
I magiced the box and everything else they held out of their hands. Then I magically shoved the pair together until they were face to face. The two stared at each other eyes wide and were silent for a moment.
“Begin the mating ritual.” I prompted with a wave of my hand.
Again the two stayed silent as they looked at each other blushing.
“Do I have to write a script for you two?” I asked dryly.
“Ok fine, Beatrice says, you really like me? Aaron says yes I do, would you like to go out for dinner?” I said as I shifted my voice from a high pitched one to mimic Beatrice and then a lower one to mimic Aaron.
“Erm… do you?” Aaron asked, finally plucking up his courage.
“Yes…” Beatrice muttered in response.
“To dinner, not the other… stuff…” Beatrice added blushing furiously.
“Yea... of course.” Aaron responded with a stiff nod.
“Ok great… great…” Beatrice said awkwardly.
I sighed as I watched the two idiots conduct their awkward mating ritual. It appears I must now go a step further…
I magiced a parchment and quill in front of me and I began to write.
It was obvious they didn’t know what to do, so how do I counter this? Simple really…
With an itinerary…
“Ok… listen up you two. Since you two obviously don’t know what to do now. I will plan an itinerary for you…” I said as I began to write.
“We don’t need…” Aaron began in protest.
“Shut up…” I said cutting him off.
“Ok…” Aaron muttered in response.
“Alright listen up…” I said as I turned the parchment around for them to read as I began to read it aloud.
Itinerary of a highly efficient mating ritual
Step 1: Acquire mating partner
Step 2: Go to eating establishment
Step 3: Procure sustenance and intoxicating beverages
Step 4: Inebriate
Step 5: Go to potential mating locale
Step 6: Mate
Step 7: Sire children
Step 8: Refer to Step 2
“Understand?” I said as I looked down at the pair of them with their mouths hanging slightly open in shock.
“Friend, I think that last bit is a little fast…” I heard Cecilia say from beside me.
“Huh? Oh the repeat part isn’t supposed to be on the same day. I guess I’ll just add that clarification.” I replied as I spun the parchment back around and got ready to write it in.
“No… not that…” Cecilia began.
“So you think they should do it twice? Then shouldn’t it be, Refer to Step 6? I don’t think eating again would add anything to the plan.” I replied.
“No… I meant the sire children. Step 7.” Cecilia said as her voice sounded like she was trying not to laugh.
“Ohhh… so you think that should wait?” I asked.
“At least after marriage.” Cecilia replied patiently.
“Ah ok, I’ll just bracket it on the side then… skip… if… not… married…” I said as I showed Cecilia the parchment.
“That's ok?” I asked.
“Yes friend.” Cecilia said with a tight lipped smile. I could tell she was trying not to laugh.
So the real question here is what the hell is so funny?
Ok I admit, I don’t know about the intricacies of romance considering I died in my past life at ten years old. But I did live in a slum where girls were very often abused by men so I know how the mechanics work. I also know being forced to do it is very distressing which is why I hate it so much. Also judging by what I can tell from those around me, the end goal of all that romantic crap is just to get to the whole coitous thing. It was just a very time consuming way to prove to the other side that you would be a good partner to create children with.
So what if we cut out all the crap in between? Well I can, because I can smell the pheromones. I know when humans want to procreate and they are interested in each other. So why wait? Just get right to it, if anything I saved them time.
“Did I say anything incorrect?” I asked as I magically shoved the pair of them out the room and slammed the door.
“No… not exactly. It’s just the way you said it.” Cecilia replied with a giggle.
“You think it won’t work?” I asked defensively.
“No… I think it would work. It’s just funny to watch.” Cecilia replied with a smirk.
“Well you wanna bet that Aaron boy will put a child in her?” I challenged.
“How long do I have to wait? Until Beatrice becomes infertile?” Cecilia asked dryly.
“In a year.” I said.
“Well… it is a definite possibility… alright tell you what, I’ll bet if you bet something else with me.” Cecilia replied coyly.
“What?” I asked.
“I bet I can take Marina without an all out battle… a few will probably die but not many. Assuming the king declines to join the Empire of course.” Cecilia said.
“Alright you’re on. Same terms as before?” I asked as I bent down to look at her smiling face.
“A little amendment. Since you were kind enough to get me five Snow Orchids today. I want to raise it to five Snow Orchids.” Cecilia said as she held up five fingers.
“Then do I get to raise the amount of roasted cows I get?” I asked.
“If you win both I’ll give you double the cows.” Cecilia replied with a shrewd smile.
“So twenty cows?” I asked.
“Yes.” Cecilia replied as she crossed her arms with a confident smile on her face.
“You’re on…” I said with a smile of my own.
“Fantastic…” Cecilia said as she clapped her hands before turning around and grabbing Lily by the waist. She pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss as she roughly pulled down the front of her servant dress letting one breast spring loose. All the while Lily mewled into her mouth as Cecilia gave her large breast a squeeze.
Right you go fuck her silly and I’ll be reading…
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