Beware Of Chicken Alternate Universe: Soaring Heaven's Isle

“I got the Spirit Wine and bao—don’t grab, you assholes!” Shilong Seireishang, or Sei to most, shouted as she bullied her way to her seat, her friends hands—And some random ass who wanted a free meal—grasping for her bounty. Sei kicked the freeloader’s hand away, and the crowd jeered at the yelp. Sei had drawn the short straw, and had gotten sent on the snack run.

She hip-checked Xishi, who had her nose buried in a scroll again, and the smut-lover went sprawling as Sei slammed into her seat.

Her stick in the mud friend hissed in irritation, and glared back at Sei only to catch a bao to the face.

“They’re starting soon, right?” Sei asked one of her other companions, as she shoved a pork dumpling into her mouth.

“Fi’ minit Ah’d reckon.” Jingyi said in her thick Wind Song Crag accent, the woman taking a bottle of wine. Her arm was covered in a large tattoo of The Bird, the fierce deity flying free. Accents were common; Soaring Heaven’s Isle recruited women from all over the continent, and they had the widest recruiting pool of any sect.

Sei took a pull of booze and looked around the Skypeak Arena. The stands were full of disciples, each one organized into their respective ‘wind.’ The North, South, East and West Wind stands were things of beauty, rising above the arena. But there was a fifth stand—one that was a bit closer to the action, and a bit less opulent. A stand Sei was currently occupying.

The face Soaring Heaven’s Isle presented to the world were the girls of the Four Winds. Women with high potential to cultivate the combat arts of Soaring Heaven’s Isle. They were the ones that took missions outside the floating archipelago, and they were the ones who went to tournaments outside their home.

The rest of them? They were Midship girls. While the Four Winds won the glory, the Midships did the maintenance and construction of the Skyships, as well as most of the menial labour. They were the “outer sect” that other sects had.

While the Four Winds fairies were normally beautiful, elegant, ethereal creatures…the Midships decidedly weren’t. They probably acted more like mortal sailors than a ‘proper woman’. But thats just how the Isle did things. They were a rowdy bunch, the Midships, and Sei wouldn’t have it any other way.

Though, the only reason they were allowed to be so slovenly right now is because the Rising Fairy Tournament was more a private affair, with only the most trusted allies in attendance.

It wasn’t like being in the Midships was shameful. They still had access to most of the sect, and their Senior Sisters occasionally ran seminars… Or laid down the law when they got too uppity.

And while it was hard work, they all had the opportunity to advance. The Storm Wings… Or the Disaster Wings as they had once been called, Drunken-Fist Bailu and Seiyu the Maw, were their two currently most famous members. They rose up from the bottom and attracted the notice of Elder Minyan. There were still legends of the two of them, even though they had been part of the East Wind for Forty years.

And now they were servants of the Young Master. Talk about moving up in the world. Elder Minyan’s own flesh and blood, who had disarmed Chunhua in less than a minute. The brat went from demanding to be called Aunt to the man patting her on the shoulder like she was his junior sister. Sei wouldn’t mind serving under a man like that.

In both ways. He was a big boy, and Sei liked.

Sei sat back and relaxed. She wasn’t competing today—she had tried her luck the last time and gotten stomped into the dirt in the first round. Today, she just got to heckle and cheer with the rest of them.

And then.. Then it was time to start. The giant drums started pounding. Slowly at first, then picking up speed—a sound every girl who lived on this isle knew.

Beat to Quarters. A call to action. A battle was about to begin.

The Midships began pounding their fists into the stands, while the Four Winds rose to their feet.

Fireworks shot into the air, sparkling and thundering with every colour of the rainbow to form into a massive bird; The Bird. The progenitor of their Sect. The whistling bang of fire was its cry, and it flapped its mighty wings as it ascended, turning into a brilliant ball of flames as bright as the sun.

A squadron of four cultivators shot over the top of the arena, cracking booms in their wake as they shattered the very air with their passing.

And then, from the sky, descended Senior Sister Shuling, Master of the Watch. Her bright pink hair was as vibrant as cherry blossoms, as was the grin on her face, but every Midships girl felt their posture straighten.

Nothing got past The Master of the Watch when she came down for inspection.

“Soaring Heaven! Fly Free!” She shouted.

“Fly True!” Sei and the rest of the Midships roared back.

Shuiling’s smile brightened. “We gather once more my sisters, on this auspicious day…” Shuling began, but Sei mostly tuned it out. It was the same every time. Praise the Bird, Praise Soaring Heaven’s Isle Sect, remember the sacrifices of our forebears. The responses were pretty rote, the drums rolling in time with the shouts.

“...and now, we get to the main event! The Rising Fairy tournament! A chance to be noticed, and rise! Will the Midships catch an Elder’s eye, and produce a new star? Will the Four Winds rise ever higher? Now is our chance to find out—for the Four Winds, and their Guest are watching!”

That got Sei’s attention, as the Elders stepped from their box into open air.

“You all know them! Tianzhe Minyan, the Falcon of the East Wind!”

She was the very epitome of icy beauty, Elder Minyan. Her eyes roved over the crowd, searching for the worthy. Everybody wished they could be so beautiful and strong.

“Han Song, the Hawk of the West Wind!” The fiery woman’s face was a stern mask, judging them all. Her aura was a fierce hawk, a predator ready to pounce.

“Baishi Lili, the Crane of the South Wind!” The calm, whimsical smile of Elder Lili was inscrutable to them all, but seemed especially amused. She was a woman who did as she pleased when she pleased.

“The Eyes of the North Wind! The Indomitable Condor, Wuting Xiaobao!”The massive form of Wuting Xiaobao, was a step behind. The chosen Disciple of Elder Dongmei. The woman’s face was completely stone today, her broad arms folded across her chest.

“And finally, our most esteemed guest! The son of Tianzhe Minyan—Shen Rou!”

And then… and then there was him. The Young Master.

He stood on top of a cloud, his hands behind his back, and his hair waving in the breeze. His complexion was like soft resin, his skin seemed to glow, and his eyes observed them kindly.

Heavens he looked good up there.

The crowd, especially the Midships, erupted. Most of them went nuts. They wanted a reaction. They wanted him to look at them.

“Young Master! Over here!”

“Young Master! Show us your chest!”

“Whats your favourite food, I’ll make it for you!”

“Young Master!”

“Take me as your concubine!”

The Young Master looked mildly amused as his eyes roved the crowd, and the Midship girls tried to get his attention, shouting and jumping.

Sei was right there with them, jumping and hollering, but he hadn’t paused to look at anybody yet. She needed something big! Something bold!

And then she got an idea. The Young Master’s eyes were over her section.

Sei grabbed the top of her robe and pulled down. “Young Master!” she shouted.

Shen Rou’s eyes widened, and he looked directly at her. Ha! She had won! Of course, a bunch of other girls started to copy her as soon as they saw what Sei had done, but she was the first.

“Sei!” Xishi shrieked, fumbling to pull Sei’s top back up, but she had done it, she had his eyes—

And then, she realised, the eyes of somebody else.

Because Tianzhe Minyan was looking directly at her. And she did not look amused.

Sei… Sei had just done this… in front of his mother…

Shit.

She let Xishi pull her top back up, and averted her eyes immediately.

“Disciple Shilong Seireishang.” Elder Minyan’s voice whispered directly into her ear.

“Y-yes, Elder Minyan?” Oh, doom, oh doom on her she was absolutely fucked.

“That was a gross breach of decorum. Report for punishment detail. Swabbing the deck.” Sei felt a surge of relief flood her body, that wasn’t too bad— “All of the decks. Your punishment is complete when you are.”

Sei collapsed into her seat. The Godship was sixteen Li long, four Li wide at its widest point, and had thirty decks. That was… that was…nearly two thousand Li squared of swabbing.

Sei felt her soul start to leave her body.

===============================================

The entrance ceremony had been awesome. The best fireworks show I had ever seen in my life, the equivalent of jets flying overhead… the works. It was hard to not be excited for the things to come.

The only nerve wracking part hadn’t been too bad either. Just step out onto a cloud, and greet the crowd. Granted, I hadn’t expected one of the girls to flash me, but well…I had managed to avoid reacting too much. Sure, the girl had been really hot, but… eh, I had no chance.

The other surprising thing had been Elder Lili conjuring a copy of Xiaobao out of water just before we stepped out, and dismissed it as soon as we stepped back in. The woman still wasn’t back yet, something Elder Lili seemed to find absolutely hilarious.

I hoped that security thing wasn’t too bad.

“You’re doing well.” Minyan said, as the first competitors got ready to fight. “You handled yourself with decorum even in the face of…well.”

I could see the annoyance in her eyes, and said a silent prayer for Flasher-Chan.

After the introduction, there was a big ceremony, where everybody competing measured their power levels with a giant black stone. It swirled with colours as it measured their cultivation. Most girls were in the Mid-Profound realm, with a few outliers like Chunhua in Spiritual. This tournament was for the younger women, or for the Midships to get noticed by the Elders.

“Presenting! The first bout!” The pink haired woman shouted. “From the Midships! Lei Ya! And also from the Midships—Chang Hong!”

I leaned forwards to watch the tournament, as two women wearing rougher looking clothes stepped out and bowed to each other. One simply had her knuckles bandaged up, while the other had what looked like an oar.

And so the battle began. The first one probably would have surprised me with its brutality if I hadn’t spent a few months with my idiots. The normal girls in Xianxia normally just shat magic at people, or elegantly swung swords. These women simply smashed into each other in an orgy of violence. They were undeniably skilled: Lei Ya would have obliterated any boxer she came across, while Chang Hong wouldn’t have looked out of place in a musou game, smashing through entire armies of goons.

Yet.. they did seem kind of slow to me. Compared to sparring with Bailu and Seiyu, I saw so many openings I didn’t get why this was going on for so long. They could have ended it way earlier, but failed to capitalize.

In the end, Lei Ya got too close, knocked the oar out of the way—

[Crashing Waves!]

—and then started Dempsey rolling the shit out of the other woman. Her fists sounded like a machine gun as she rocked from side to side, until with a final haymaker, and a sickening crack, Chang Hong’s jaw broke.

The Midships cheered, and there was some polite clapping from the other stands. Lei Ya raised her fist in victory, then bowed to her opponent, and then bowed to the Elders.

“Unskilled.” Elder Song stated, looking bored.

“Nothing interesting.” Minyan agreed.

“What do you think, Bailu, Seiyu?” Elder Lili asked.

“Lei Ya’s breathing was off. It reduced her strike’s timing.” Seiyu stated clinically.

“I’d say Hong was more interesting, but she needs a few years of refinement.” Bailu said.

“And you, Rou?” Elder Lili continued.

“Too many openings unpunished.” I said, and the women nodded.

I looked back at the arena. Chang Hong was back on her feet, and merely looking annoyed by her defeat. She pulled something from her pouch, put it against her jaw, and then snapped it back into place.

She worked it for a couple seconds, as the rest of the bruises and scuffs littering her body healed.

And then the next bout began.

=====================================

The day continued like that. Some of the fights were better than others, and after each the Elders would critique the performance. I was surprisingly involved, and gave the best answers I could.

Some of the women got noticed by their Elders. Some of them got a “make a note for Sister Dongmei”.

Chunhua fought near the end of the day, and crushed her opponent in a single move. I ended up smiling and waving at her, and the girl puffed up with pride.

“Oh? Going after my niece?” Elder Lili teased. “Truly, you are the son of Shen Yu.”

“My intentions are pure.” I refuted, my face flushed, and Elder Lili laughed. “She is skilled for her age, though.”

“Mmmm. My great, great, great niece, isn’t bad, but shes still wet behind the ears.” Elder Lili said.

“She just introduced herself as your niece though?” I asked.

“Too many greats is just a mouthful.” Elder Lili replied.

The first day ended just before dinner, and then I was back at home. Bailu and Seiyu were back to their normal selves, which was nice, and Big D… Big D had prepared us dinner.

…I mean the roasted worms were better than the rats I ate in Crimson Crucible City.

====================================

The second day, I brought along my rooster. We did the whole song and dance of entering the gate, though I got waved through this time quickly. This time I did stop and talk to some of the girls, asking how they were enjoying themselves, before heading to the box.

Xiaobao was back today, but her face turned crimson as soon as she looked at me, and refused to talk to me all day.

It was a little worrying, to be honest.

At least Elder Song was happy. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw Big D.

“So this is the man you were so happy to see?” Elder Lili asked as Elder Song swiftly defeated my cock. The rooster collapsed, flaccid, under her ministrations.

“Is he not a magnificent, obedient beast?” Elder Song demanded. “Ah, you are taking care of him well, Rou. The luster of his feathers is very nice! You have my praise!”

Elder Lili just laughed.

=============================

And that was how the rest of the week went. We watched the tournament, ate some pretty good food, and discussed the combatants. The Fights definitely got more intense as the tournament went on, with techniques starting to fly.

At the end of the second day, I got to see where they made the Skyships in the bowels of the Isle. Honestly, it looked a lot like a mortal ship building operation… save for the fact that the trees they used were harder than steel, were reinforced with formations, and had a big hunk of rock in the center of them.

They mostly used hand tools, powered by cultivation, and the slipway exited into open sky.

A bunch of women also had to put their shirts back on when they realised I was there—Sawing through the massive trees was evidently hot work.

It was interesting, but I could definitely see the limitations compared to a grown ship. The combat skyships needed a lot of energy to keep running.

==============================

And then, it was the last day of the tournament. I had actually gotten a one word answer out of Xiaobao when I asked about a technique one of the contestants used, and then the woman instantly looked away from me and refused to speak again.

The finals were Chunhua versus a really good woman from the East Wind, Zou Lin. Their battle looked like something ripped out of dragon ball, with how they zipped around and launched thousands of attacks a second. Both of them could fly, and their swords were blurs.

But in the end, Chunhua lost, being forced to the ground at sword point by the much more mature looking woman. Zou Lin had dark blue hair and was stunningly beautiful.

And with that, the tournament was over. The winner was raised on a platform to stand before us, and was congratulated on her victory. She got some pretty standard tournament rewards. A bunch of pills, a cultivation manual, time in the special library… the works.

“In addition to these rewards, per the Rising Fairy Tournament—speak to us. What does your heart desire?” Minyan asked, her voice projected all over the arena.

Zou Lin was the epitome of ethereal fairy cultivator as she bowed. “This one would request a pointer from each of the Elders, in the nature of the blade.” the woman said, her head low.

Minyan and Lili nodded in approval. Elder Song, however, huffed. “You are part of my Wind; That you shall receive such after your victory is self-evident. I shall allow you to choose an additional reward.” Elder Song declared.

Lin looked surprised, and seemed at a loss for what to choose, her eyes flicking over us… and then landing on me.

She blushed slightly, then turned to Minyan.

“Elder Minyan, this one humbly requests the company of your son to tonight’s celebrations.” She said—wait, was she asking me out on a date?

Bailu, Seiyu, and Xiaobao all whipped their heads around to stare at the woman, their intent exploding off their bodies.

Zou Lin looked like she was about to piss herself, and was frozen in place… but surprisingly, Minyan’s own power pushed them aside. She looked annoyed.

Minyan’s eye twitched. “I see. That is a… fine request, delivered like a proper lady. Rou. Accompany the winner of our tournament.”

The crowd below erupted at Lin’s audacity and victory, while Lin smiled tentatively. I just felt a bit confused at the fact that I had apparently just been pimped out.

And that was how the tournament ended.

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