Beers and Beards: A Cozy Dwarf Tale

What followed was a lot of yelling, gesticulating, and way too much energy until I finally put my foot down.

“No,” I grumbled, “Barck’s a dick, and I don’t actually want to associate with him more.”

“I’ve heard he was a jolly God, all told,” Aqua mused. “Especially compared to some of the more uptight ones, like Lunara or Solen.”

“You don’t understand, He’s a God. He doesn’t really care about any of us. His plans are across literal eons. He may cherish us, but we are, in essence, bugs to them. Mayflies who provide entertainment and add some paltry meaning to their eternal existence.”

“That’s a rather uncharitable way of putting it,” Balin mumbled.

I shook my head. “Not really, Barck’s incredibly brusk and does whatever he feels like. He’s a fine drinking buddy, but I wouldn’t really want to give him any more power over me. Especially something like giving him the ability to deny the use of my Abilities.”

Bando was throwing confused looks around the room. “Why does it feel like you’re all talkin’ about somethin’ what I don’t know about?”

His mother patted his head. “Clan business dear, we’ll tell you when you’re older.”

Bando pointed at me. “He’s younger than me!”

I sighed, it was getting about time to tell Bando at least part of the truth. Our main reason for keeping it secret was a bit out of the bag with Harmsson, and ever since Bando had become a Titled [Pacifier] he’d mellowed right now. Heck, I’d put him at a step above capable by this point. Annie was even trusting him with running the bar on occasion.

Though it would probably take his mother another century to see it.

I gave him an apologetic smile. “We’ll tell you in… a couple years, Bando. It’s time sensitive, and you really don’t want to know; it’ll just stress you out.”

Bando gave me some side-eye, then nodded.

“Still, Peter, you should think about it.” Richter pushed. “An Ability like ‘dat is begging ta get evolved, and I can’t imagine what ‘de Worldstone would do to it! At least consider it! We don’t have any otha options for ‘de stone that even come close! Imagine, a Godly Ability with a Worldstone! We’d be makin’ history!”

“Ugh, fine. I’ll think about it.” So I did. I shushed everyone and really, seriously thought about it.

Did I really want an Ability that tied me closer to Barck?

No. That was an easy answer. Plus, [Legendary Archemist] was a straight up power boost to my magical capabilities, and fit me to a T. I wanted it.

But I wanted it for me. It wouldn’t do much to benefit the clan, other than by making me a better Brewer, and I was already the best Brewer if the name of the Specialisation was any indication. I’d be a little stronger as a mage, but we already had Richter for that. I’d at most go from a lousy mage to a half-decent one.

On the other side of the moustache, if the Worldstone did anything special to the Cellar, the implications could trickle down to generations of my clan, my clan’s allies, and even, well, to my future children.

“Richter, can an Ability last after someone’s death?” I asked into the respectful silence.

Richter hesitated, then nodded. “Depends on the Ability. Things that make somethin’ permanent usually don’t disappear when ‘de maker dies. Would cause a lot of chaos othawise. [Barck’s Cellar] says it makes a permanent door, so it would probably stay.”

“Unless Barck decides ta close it.”

Another hesitation. “Aye. I think he’d need to be real mad at ‘de clan to do ‘dat though.”

I stared at my beer, sitting half–empty in my hand. Barck owed me, well, a lot. When I’d won the brewing finals, my quest completion had even had a personal “Thank you” attached.

If I asked, he probably wouldn’t interfere with us using his [Cellar]. Or whatever Ability we got when we used the Worldstone on it.

I glanced over at Bando. Getting his first Blessings and a Title had completely changed the young dwarf’s entire present and future. He’d gone from a rowdy and impulsive octogenarian child, to a respectable and put together adult. Blessings he'd received by interacting with a God. If there was even a chance, that the [Cellar] would increase the number of Blessings in our clan just by dint of increasing Barck's eye on us…

I had to take it. This wasn’t just about me, it was about the future of my clan. The future of our place on Erd. If I became a better mage, it probably wouldn't change much, but a possibly infinite plane of alcohol buffed by an artifact of limitless power could be a game changer.

And, okay, unlimited elven wine would be nice.

“Alright, I’ve decided,” I said resolutely, surging to my feet. “I’m going to go for [Barck’s Bartender].”

There were some shocked murmurs, and Balin reached out a hand and clapped it over mine. My hand was trembling, I realized.

Stolen novel; please report.

“Brother,” He said, his voice filled with concern. “We can always find a place ta put the Worldstone, and we don’t even know what it’ll do!”

I nodded, my shaking hands and gaze firming. “Aye, I’m sure. I think that [Legendary Archemist] would be incredible for me. I’d love ta learn new spells faster, and have a powerful magic item ta help me cast magic. But this isn’t just about me. I own a part of the Goat, but more importantly, I’m a member of clan Roughtuff-ne-Goldstone. I think it could be a real boost fer us. So, I’m going to take the [Bartender], Barck be damned. Not for me, but fer us!”

Everyone sat ramrod straight, and there was a strange chill that came over the room. They all looked around nervously, and Bando actually squeaked.

Annie stood, walked over and placed both hands on my shoulders.

Her voice dropped low as she stared straight into my eyes and spoke in a cadence I recognized as a memorized script. “Dwarf, do you choose this free of bond and with your own voice? Do you swear before tha Gods that none here or elsewhere force you to make this choice?”

“Uh,” my gaze shifted around the room. Everyone looked super serious. And then there was that chill. “I’m missing somethin’,” I whispered to Annie.

“Aye, you are,” she whispered back, “your choice is yours and yours alone, a reward from the Gods for furthering the growth of the world. There are those that would force Titled to take Specialisations to further their own personal power. The Gods… don’t look kindly on it. If anyone chooses a Title or Specialisation for someone else… ” She shivered, and the temperature in the room dropped another notch. “Now, dwarf, tell us true, do you choose this for us or you?”

“Hurry up and say yes, Pete, or change your damn mind!” Bran groused, shivering. He grabbed some pillows and covered himself, burying deep into his makeshift pillowfort and peeking out with bushy black brows. His voice emerged, muffled. “I don’t really care if you want to be a damn Legend! You’d better not be stoppin’ on my account!”

I licked my lips and looked deep into my heart, because intent always bloody mattered in this world. I had indeed been choosing it for my clan, which might’ve kicked this whole thing off. So I focused; deep down I was still choosing this for me. I wanted this because I wanted my clan to grow more powerful. For my clansmen to become so strong that nobody would ever mess with us again. Hell, that was the entire reason my brother was risking his life in a damn dungeon every day! I wanted my clan to be the very best! Like no one ever was!

“Yes, I choose for me.” I proclaimed, and my heart meant every word.

*Bing*

Specialised!

You’ve become [Barck’s Bartender]!

Instantly the icy chill and feeling of pressure dropped away, and everyone let out their collective held breaths.

Bran immediately threw off his pillows. “You got it? Open up the cellar, I want to see!”

“Mmm… don’t want to.” I said, giving him a grin. “I don’t want to use the Worldstone on it and regret it, so I’m not going in until the deed’s been done. Are we doing this? Does everyone think it’s a good idea?”

“It’s a great idea. Bando’s a genius.” Richter jumped to his feet and ran out. “I’ll get ‘de stone. It’ll light up ‘de place like beacon with magic, so ya better get ready ta use it!”

“Uh huh. Annie, yer the clan head. What’s yer word?” I turned to our erstwhile golden-haired decision maker. “And should we ask the Herders first?”

Annie sat back down with a grunt and waved me away. “We never would’ve gotten any of it without you, and you just used a precious Specialisation for the Clan. Ironbellows won't complain. It’s yours, Pete.”

Balin reached over and the two shared a kiss. Aqua mimed wretching, then gave me a wink.

Soon enough Richter arrived with the lockbox and opened it to reveal the scintillating stone. It glowed plenty in regular vision, but was like the surface of the sun in my magical sight. I held my hand up to my eyes, “Okay Richter, how do I use it?”

Richter chuckled. “How would I know? Everything I know I got from books of legends. Nobody’s used one in millenia, and ‘dat was just to make ‘de Kinshasa teleportation circle. Here, hold it and try thinkin’ at it, or shoving some mana in.”

I gingerly took the stone in my hand, expecting a tingle or shock or something. “Huh, it’s cold,” I muttered.

“It’s a rock,” Bran grunted, “Course it’s cold.”

I stuck my tongue out at him.

‘“Here goes nothing,” I said, and willed something to happen.

*Bing*

Activate Worldstone?

Would you like to use this Worldstone on the Ability [Barck’s Cellar]?

Warning, this is irreversible.

Do you accept?

Yes / No

I gulped and chose ‘yes’.

There was another flash of light, and I felt a tingle as magic roared out of the Worldstone and into me. And just as fast as it started, it stopped.

*Bing!*

Ability Improved!

Your [Barck’s Cellar] has evolved into [Dimensional Dungeon: Unnamed]!

Barck may remove people from the section of the Demiplane containing his Cellar, but not from the greater dungeon.

Your Ability will be unavailable for 8 days, 4 hours as it stabilizes.

“Well, that looks promising.” I said brightly, pulling up and reading the Ability aloud to everyone. My heart was hammering in my chest. Did that mean what I thought it meant?

[Dimensional Dungeon: Unnamed] – Grants you access to a demiplane modeled upon the intersection of the lived experiences of Peter Roughtuff and the God Barck’s Cellar. Barck’s brews cannot be removed from the cellar except by his say-so, and will refill after one month has passed. Any food or drink placed in the cellar will never go bad, and will stop maturing when it reaches the ideal age.

You may activate this Ability once per day, creating a permanent door to the dimension that anyone can use to freely leave and enter.

When you use this Ability again, any older doors are destroyed.

Barck may also create or destroy doors to this space whenever and wherever he wishes and remove people from the part of the Demiplane connected to his Cellar if he chooses.

As I finished reading the Ability description, Darrel actually hiccuped, and Richter choked.

“Well,” Annie said, stunned, “That’s… something.”

“Aye…” Balin complained. “It’s unfinished is what it is. Got no name and ‘unavailable’? Shoddy workmanship, that.”

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