Chapter 155 – Daoist Revelation
Clear Spring Village was too small for large restaurants or tea houses like those in big towns and cities. Most food places were tents and stalls on the side of busy roads. When I led Xie Lun to a breakfast stand by the river, I was somewhat uncertain if he could get used to such a spartan place like this.
Xie Lun didn't seem to care though. After I introduced the shop's signature pastries and buns, he ordered a big plate of almost one of each. I stared at him curiously. "I hadn't expected you to be so hungry," I said. "Aren't you close to becoming immortal already? How much do you still need to eat?"
"It's not for me," he chuckled. "You're the one that needs to eat, even if you don't have an appetite. You've grown much thinner since we left Jade Temple, and it's only been five days."
Five days? Time had passed by so slowly ever since Bai Ye left, and I didn't realize it had only been five days. I smiled a bit awkwardly, unsure how to explain my sudden languishment. "I tend to forget to cook when I get busy … There's a lot to do after the long trip."
It was a terrible lie, I realized almost immediately after I said it. I wouldn't have agreed to come here if I was so busy that I couldn't even feed myself. Fortunately, Xie Lun didn't seem to notice, and our order was brought up timely in the meanwhile, diverting the conversation.
"I hope it still tastes the same as it did five years ago," Xie Lun said and pushed the plate closer towards me. "Did you come here often?"
I picked up an almond pastry. "A few times every summer when the weather is nice for a swim in the river. My father would spend the day at the market while my mother took me down to the water for a break, and we'd stop here for a snack— Oh, you asked about the river yesterday. This one runs from a mountain in the far north to the ocean in the east. The water is ice-melt most of the year. During the rainy season from late spring to mid-summer, the water level gets higher and floods occasionally."
Xie Lun nodded, though somehow he didn't appear as interested in real business as he should be. "Don't let it get cold," he gestured at the pastry in my hand and reminded me casually.
Those words suddenly made my motion freeze. They sounded too familiar, and for a moment, I had a mad thought that it was Bai Ye sitting across from me, urging me to eat before the food grew cold when I got too distracted talking to him. It was a scene that happened almost every time he joined me for a meal. Sometimes he would smile and promise that he wasn't going anywhere, and I could take my time telling him anything after I was full. Other times, he would sigh helplessly and stop me with a lingering kiss, making me too embarrassed to keep chattering.
I looked up, and when I saw it was Xie Lun giving me a complicated stare, I remembered that those days were now only a memory of the past. I shook my head, giving myself a silent scoff, and bit into the pastry.
These were the foods I grew up with, and I savored them carefully, hoping that the childhood memories they brought back could replace the tangled thoughts in my head. But the moment that familiar taste started spreading over my tongue, the first thing that rushed into my mind was … the almond pastry that Bai Ye made for me once.
He had asked me frequently about the cuisine style in this part of the country. What spices and ingredients were common, which snacks were my favorites … When I told him one time about these almond pastries, I had no idea how they were made, and he kept tweaking the recipes for weeks until the flavor came out exactly the same as I remembered. I had been thrilled back then that his invention satisfied my nostalgic palate, but now, when I finally got a chance to taste the real thing, all I could think of was the one he had put so much effort into making for me, and the smile on his face when I told him how much I liked it.
A dull pain stabbed my heart. I had hoped that leaving Mount Hua for a few days would help me forget all these faster, but memories of him followed me like a shadow, looming over me everywhere I went. The taste of almonds suddenly turned too bitter in my mouth, and I sniffled a little.
"Something wrong?" I heard Xie Lun ask.
Remembering that someone else was watching me, I pulled myself out of my musings. "I … I haven't had these for too long," I said. "The taste turned out different from what I expected." Trying clumsily to hide what I was thinking, I pushed the plate back towards Xie Lun. "They are really good though, you should try some as well."
Xie Lun glanced at me. I was sure that he noticed my unusualness, and I was grateful that he didn't ask about it. He fetched a roasted pork bun for himself. "Time changes everything, doesn't it?" he said after a brief pause.
I looked at him, uncertain what he was leading to. He smiled as he broke the bun into bite-sized morsels. "We get too used to our surroundings, and sometimes too attached. Where we live, who we spend time with, what we eat … It's hard to break out of the life we lead, and we might even think it's impossible at first. But in the end, all it takes is time. No favorites last forever, and no loss is irreplaceable."
Xie Lun took his bite and chewed it elegantly. I sat still, baffled. What he said was nothing beyond a typical daoist revelation—especially expected from someone choosing a devoted path like him, and especially fitting given the excuse I just used—but somehow I felt that he meant something more.. Reaching for another piece of pastry absentmindedly, I spent the rest of breakfast pondering what he was trying to tell me.
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