Chapter 1.10
Arc 1 Extra (Zhao Yuhao)
Five years later.
Zhao Yuhao walked into the cemetery again. It was the height of summer. The sun shone so brightly it scorched people’s hearts, yet his heart was cool like water—whenever he walked into this place and approached that boy, he felt an incomparable tranquility and happiness.
He had come to this place frequently these past five years. When he was happy, when he was sad, when he was drunk.
The picture that decorated the tombstone was a black and white shot of his side profile, still capable of moving one’s heart and as beautiful as ever. The only defect was that the quick-witted intelligence in his eyes and his angelic smile couldn’t be seen.
He only found out afterward that this boy didn’t like to have his picture taken. Having that kind of beautiful visage, why did he not want to leave any trace of his presence in this world? Zhao Yuhao was unable to understand the reasoning behind this. He also couldn’t comprehend why he would choose to leave this world in such a way. So decisive. So thoroughly cruel. It made one’s heart ache.
Master Zhao always had a noble and elegant demeanor, yet he was sitting before a tombstone now without any regard for his image. He gently placed the bouquet of daisies on the ground in front, unable to hide the grief in his eyes. This boy had departed forever on that spring day, bright like blossoming brocade flowers, yet he would never be able to move on from the memory of their first meeting on that early spring day.
In the eyes of that boy, he was but a stranger destined to pass by him. He would never know that he was like a sprite appearing before him and could never depart from his heart.
At that time, he mistook him for a girl and fell in love with him at first sight. That boy slyly smiled as if mocking his stupidity and then called out “Gege” to the approaching Gu Qi. At that time, his always brilliant mind was completely blank for a full minute.
It was the first time in his life his heart had beat for another and also the first time he had been disappointed in love. He should be angry, but he couldn’t bring himself to be. It was as if that boy had some magic power. It seemed that every time he did something nasty, he would be forgiven. Getting angry at him seemed to be tantamount to a sin.
He felt Gu Qi’s formidable ill-will upon touching that hand, so soft it seemed boneless, yet he stubbornly refused to drop it. Even one second more would be acceptable. That was the first time he had ever become so intensely attached to something or someone.
That boy had not perceived his tempestuous emotions, but instead lit his face with a smile and said, “Please take care of me in the future, Yuhao-ge.”
It was then that he knew he would be unable to let him go.
Boy or girl&#k2014;what does it matter? If only that boy would be willing to smile at him, willing to call him “Yuhao-ge,” willing to stay by his side, he would be willing to give everything up. Even if he had to go against the entire world, he would not hesitate.
In everyone’s eyes, the perfect noble prince Zhao Yuhao was unexpectedly reduced to a wretched pervert, stalker, and voyeur who said things even he himself could not believe.
Every day, he followed the boy to and from school and watched him gently and carefully holding his brother’s hand, secretly showing a happy smile; watched him with shy eyes full of admiration, furtively glancing at his excessively doting brother; most of the time, his eyes were sad, with an indescribable dull grey cast to them, as if there were no hope in sight.
He knew the reason. Loving a man who was also his older brother—not everyone could bear this kind of love, let alone a pure, inexperienced boy of 16.
The boy chose a thorny road. No one could walk it for him. Even if he traveled alone and was scarred by the sharp thorns, he was unwilling to retreat. Unbending, obstinate, and also confusing.
How he longed to say to him, this path is hard, just give up. Don’t fix your gaze on that person. Turn your head and look at me. I can give up anything for us to be together, just for your smile, if only you would wish it. But he couldn’t. The boy was sensitive and fragile, more precious than a porcelain doll. He could not pierce his hard shell. Otherwise, his world would collapse and his soul would be broken. He knew that was the boy he loved.
After that, he didn’t pay close attention to him. That boy’s love was too hopeless. He felt it was unbearable to even watch him. It was difficult for him to even imagine the lovesick boy’s pain.
He needed to get away from that labyrinth named Gu Yuan and stop being so ridiculous.
Meeting Qiu Mimi was an accident. She was a kind, strong girl. Although sometimes people felt her Virgin Mary-like actions were over the top, her innocent expression was similar to those of the boy he could not give up. So he let her get close to him and allowed her unrestrained intrusion of his world. Perhaps in his heart, he was actually awaiting this girl who could save him from that boy’s spell.
But Qiu Mimi did not succeed. The more they interacted, the more clearly he felt she was different from that boy he loved.
When Gu Yuan left forevermore, his love died completely with the departure of that boy. He could never again join in on others’ fun, nor force a smile. He couldn’t even cry, because he didn’t have the right.
—They were only strangers.
He joined them the day of Fan Yuan’s burial. As Gu Qi’s friend, he stood in the crowd and watched Gu Qi hold Gu Yuan’s ashes. His face reflected no emotions at all, as if he had lost the capacity to feel.
Mr. and Mrs. Gu held Gu Yuan’s funeral photo and wept an endless torrent of tears. Zhao Yuhao’s gaze crossed that boy’s lightly smiling face when his eyes suddenly burned. His eyes that had been dry all along streamed actual tears. He felt stunned and at a loss for a second and then, at last, cried bitterly.
Later on, the young master of the Yu family appeared at his burial. He wore a hospital gown and was followed by a group of doctors and nurses. He had probably escaped from the hospital. He rushed forward like a madman to grab Gu Yuan’s ashes. Gu Qi slapped him across the face so hard he felt dazed.
Zha Yuhao absent-mindedly heard Gu Qi speak only two sentences.
“Who was it that killed Xiao Yuan? Don’t tell me that you don’t know.”
Then Yu Kai fell to his knees and crazily hit his head on the ground. His forehead was cut to ribbons, but he ignored it and kept saying the same sentence over and over again: “I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry....”
At last, Yu Kai fainted, his energy completely spent, and was taken away by the Yu family.
Zhao Yuhao later sent people to enquire about this. He only knew that Yu Kai and Gu Yuan were classmates and had a dispute in class once, but he was unable to find anything else.
He went to the hospital to find Yu Kai. He wanted to know the truth about how that boy he had kept deep in his heart had lost his life. He wanted answers.
Yu Kai could not give him an answer. He had driven himself mad. No matter what he was asked, he would only smile crazily and dumbly reply: “I can change my birthdate, I can change my name. I can do whatever you want. Okay, Gu Yuan?.... Yes, I’m sick in the head. It’s all my fault and has nothing to do with you. Don’t be angry, I’ll be good. I won’t bother you or mess with you anymore, Gu Yuan. Gu Yuan, don’t go....”
Zhao Yu suspected that this was the aim of those sentences Gu Qi had spoken that day. Effortlessly, he had made Yu Kai suffer a pain worse than death.
Unfortunately, he was unable to find Gu Qi to seek the truth because after Gu Yuan’s funeral, the white-haired Mr. and Mrs. Gu sent him away from this sad place. Their whole family moved abroad, never to return. All they asked was that people regularly sweep and take care of Gu Yuan’s tomb.
Zhao Yuhao used a handkerchief to gently wipe Gu Yuan’s funeral portrait. He smiled slightly and said, “Miss your brother? He hasn’t come to see you at all. D’you blame him? I would think not, mm. You’re the kind of pig-headed person who would love a single person for his whole life. You would never get angry no matter how he treated you. I saw him in the paper the other day. I guess you would want to know about him, huh, so I’ll tell you. He’s now a successful entrepreneur, famous all over the world. He’s also one of the world’s most eligible bachelors. It’s too bad he hasn’t married. He hasn’t even had a relationship. Ha, some people even suspect he might be gay.
“I’ve known Gu Qi for a long time. He always had this arrogant and conceited personality. He likes to laugh, and play, and look for stimulating things to do. But since you departed, it’s like he’s become a different person. Compared to others, he’s more like a sophisticated machine. Every day he makes no mistakes at work or in his personal life, as if he had been wound up like a toy. Tell me, have you taken away his soul? Have you already been reunited in another world? Can I let you go now, too?”
“There’s a girl by the name of Qiu Mimi. She has as pretty eyes like you, but of course they’re not quite as good looking as yours. She’s waited five years for me. I told her about you the other day and she said she can accept it. So I was thinking, should I try a fresh start as well?”
“Today’s probably the last time I’ll come here to see you. After that, there won’t be me to bother you. Will you be lonely? Will you occasionally think of me? Will you miss my jabbering?”
Saying this, he choked slightly. He raised his eyes to look to the sky and let the tears that threatened to seep out of his eyes slowly trickle down.
“Xiao Yuan, you must be happy in your next life.”
Zhao Yuhao leaned down and slowly kissed that picture. He remained pressed to Gu Yuan’s cheek for a moment. Then, he suddenly rose and strode away without a backward glance. It was as if he lingered for one moment more, he would lose all of his resolution.
Behind Zhao Yuhao, a breeze blew past, rustling the bunch of daisies he had brought. The white petals were blown by the wind. They floated up and were borne on the wind to a distant place.
The meaning of daisies in the language of flowers: pure beauty and love hidden in the heart.
The Author Has Something to Say:
Reminder: This is a Mary-Sue world. It’s normal for the male lead or male side characters to have the ability to fall in love at first sight and to love fully without any regrets. But the mc isn’t the launcher of ten thousand ships. There are barely any other worlds like this where everyone loves the protagonist. Muah~ =3=
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