A Bored Lich

"Keep up," General Von Trike urged as he led the class away from the platform. They went down a cold dirt path, their wet footwear coagulating into mud. Most students preferred to walk on the parts of the flat mountaintop laden with rock, cracked from long dead and dried out weeds.

"What are you reading?" Elero asked, looking at the note in Thomas's hands.

"Oh nothing," Thomas folded the note up and put it back into his pocket. "I don't know why it was in my pocket but it read: 'Beware inhaling the smoke'."

"Sounds hot." Elero said before facepalming.

Thomas tilted his head to the side. "Was that supposed to be a pun?"

"Because there's smoke." Elero said, still hiding her face.

"I don't get it." Frey shrugged as Thomas let out a sigh, as if his will to go on had deflated.

"Listen…" Thomas put a hand on Elero's shoulder. "A better one would be: 'Beware inhaling the smoke? Sounds like you should just be where smoke doesn't hail'." Frey chuckled so Thomas pat him on the back. "See he gets it."

"Not that," Frey said, grinning and pointing to Elero. "I just got her joke." But Elero was not paying attention to them anymore, although a bit of her pride stung. Since the swamp's fog was far below them, sunken within the sea of clouds, there was nothing to obstruct Elero's view of their destination, the Knight's Academy. They had finally arrived.

What first drew their attention were the shards of stained glass within the rusted metal fence which circled the stone building. High stone-wall spires at each corner of the building went up four stories, ending in metal spikes. The exterior walls bent in odd directions, almost wave-like in their "design".

The wooden balcony stretching over the entrance had half-collapsed in on itself, as if someone had taken an axe to some of its thick columns. The only sense of normalcy was the base of this travesty, a solid and orderly brick foundation. Two symmetrical stairways curved up, leading with their dozen steps to two metal doors, one cracked and the other with slash marks.

"Welcome to the Knight's Academy." General Von Trike spread his arms wide, as if he were revealing a place that deserved a round of applause, and not this appalling hollow of a once great building. Elero half-expected lightning to sound off.

"Many of you might be wondering," General Von Trike continued with a nervous chuckle. "Is this really where you are going to spend the next three years of your life? The answer: yes." He held up his pointer finger before anyone could voice their complaints. "There is a very reasonable explanation as to why you are going to live in this deplorable structure…" He paused, letting the tension build with a widening grin on his face. "And that reason is: a complete and utter lack of funding."

The other Generals sighed. General Von Trike's eyes went watery. "Do not be shy." He clasped his hands together and turned away, as if too embarrassed to face them. "Please, step right into the place you lot will now call home." He gestured everyone forward with his head.

The nobles stood there in a state of shock. Meanwhile the commoners went up the stairs. The student at the forefront went to open the door. When he pulled his hand back, he held out a doorhandle. "General?" He asked, the light in his eyes fading. "What now?"

General Von Trike scratched the back of his head. He seemed to regain a little bit of his spine and looked at the crowd again, although he was shaking a bit as he adjusted his monocle: "You have to use the other door. No one has bothered to fix the other handle." So the student did exactly that. The moment the other door opened; several objects whistled through the air.

The student flew head over heels, violently tumbling down the stairs and crashing into the nobles, knocking them over like bowling pins. The students all drew they weapons and got into stances. Commoners dove over the stairs. Nobles pushed against each other while still trying to grasp what happened.

The instructors and the generals burst out laughing, adding in even more confusion. "I apologize," General Von Trike laughed even as he helped the unfortunate individual to his feet and slapped him on the back. "Oh the goddess knows we all needed that." He wiped a tear from his eye. "Allow me to explain." He took a breath to steady himself. "It's somewhat of a tradition, a much-needed laugh in between the tests." Not one of the students was laughing, all except Molly and Thomas.

"I'm sorry," Thomas said while trying to suppress his chuckling. "I don't know why this is so…" He took one look at the red-faced student and burst out in another fit.

Frey gave him a light punch in the arm and shook his head: "It's not funny."

Elero shrugged: "Maybe a little."

"Lord Von Trike." Eugene raised his hand.

"Call me by my General title when we're at the Knights' academy," General Von Trike said, and in a moment of acknowledgement, they both adjusted their eyewear.

"Sorry." Eugene smiled: "General Von Trike, you make it seem like we have yet another test, but we just finished Initiation. Shouldn't we rest?"

Alexander stepped forward: "Hell no. You all may have forgotten, so I'll repeat what I said before Initiation. A knight must use everything as his weapons. That is the knight's academy's motto. The academy is not just a place of learning. We aren't mages who draw strength from learning and books. We go through hardship and pushing our limits. Life will not be easy. You will get dirty. You will complain. You will pass out. You will end up in the medical wing. If you're not careful, you might just die."

"Many have died in Initiation alone. That's just a simple test compared to what we have in store for you lot. Life will be rough, rough as a grindstone to a sword. The academy is here to challenge you and push you to overcome your limits in every way possible. So, in order to challenge you in every way possible, we created a private hell, reserved just for your suffering. Did you think I was talking about the swamp?" He paused, waiting for a response that never came.

"Do you think Initiation was the only test? Do you think it would be our hardest test?" The faces of the crowd dropped. "The little budget that we do have is spent on that." He pointed to the academy. "This building used be a work of art until the students destroyed it room by room. The only part of the original structure left untouched by the hundreds of fights and battles that have taken place in that one building is the foundation. Everyone expects this structure to be destroyed. Our architects have given up on form and put all their poorly-paid efforts into function."

General Marble chimed in: "but don't go overboard, unlike a certain other." He glanced at Alexander.

"Moving on to actually relevant points." Alexander took a step away from General Marble with a guilty expression: "The academy is now filled with your opponents from the tournament. I'd go down a list of names but I don't care, and neither should you. In a week's time, you'll have kicked them out by force. That is your second test. No killing. No magic. We will be watching much closer, unlike a certain slacker." He glanced at General Von Trike.

General Von Trike stepped away from Alexander with an equally guilty expression: "Moving on to actually relevant points; Marble, don't you need to explain the rules?"

General Marble narrowed his eyes at both Generals. "These are not exactly rules, but guidelines. You are one class from now on, not extraneous groups. Follow the majority. Decide on the plan, one plan. That is how you will survive, both here and on the battlefield. Many of you might be wondering where the other students are, the second and third years. They are…undergoing a different kind of test. That's all the information we are allowed to provide. Any last points…"

He scratched his scraggly beard. "Oh yes. We'll be announcing who we are taking as disciples and releasing details about schedules. Your performances in this test will influence both of those decisions, which will be determined after this test. We have melee, ranged, life essence techniques, secondary weapons, conditioning, strategy, sparring, the demon pit-"

"General Marble?" Thomas hesitated to interrupt him. "A demon pit. As in an entire pit filled to the brim with demons."

"Oh yeah we got one out back." Marble pointed over his shoulder at the academy. Before the crowd's eyes could widen even more than they already have, he shook his head. "Not in the academy. It's in the mountains down in the valley behind this one, behind a massive gate. It's not really a class, but more for gaining life essence. Think of it when…" he chuckled. "If you have some free time. The instructors will you fill you in on everything regarding classes."

Alexander put a hand on his shoulder and whispered something. They nodded to each other. "Good luck on your test. Don't die." Alexander said before the Generals disappeared in a burst of life essence. The instructors also left, but they only blurred in a line as they sprinted away.

The crowd stood there for a couple of seconds, wondering what to do, until Alexander reappeared, sword in hand. "Get going!"

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